


The Magic in Our Chemistry

by namelesslunitic



Category: Family Guy
Genre: Crossdressing, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Magic, Rise to Fame, dogxbaby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-07-11 08:24:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 39,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15968501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namelesslunitic/pseuds/namelesslunitic
Summary: Brian and Stewie set out on the road to becoming star magicians.





	1. The Pledge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Riachinko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riachinko/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy or its characters.

“Ha! Remember this?”

The child pulled the item out of the box he was rummaging around in and held it up so that his canine companion could see. Brian pulled his attention away from his own box and read the title out loud with a sigh.

“ **Wish it. Want it. Do it.** ”

Stewie chuckled as he set the book off to the side.

“Your one fleeting moment of fame.”

Brian just frowned.

“Yeah, I guess… I don’t really like to remember it.”

He pointed at a pile of items that was over in the corner of the basement.

“That can go in the discard pile.”

The infant’s grin fell and he blinked at the dog, slightly stunned.

“Really?”

Brian just nodded his head.

“Yes, really. It’s a terrible book, anyway.”

Stewie stood there for a moment before finally shrugging and tossing the book into the pile of items to be thrown away.

The two of them had come down here to sort through some of Brian’s old things that he had been keeping stored. Lois had bitched the dog out earlier about the boxes cluttering up the space, and he had figured it was just better to do as the woman asked instead of making a big deal out of it.

So far they had amassed a pile of old dog toys, notebooks, and various other trinkets that the canine had dubbed worthy of the trash bin. Really most of what was in these boxes was getting thrown out. They’d already been through three of them with these last two left to go, and there was hardly anything that Brian seemed to want to keep. It made Stewie wonder why he had held onto these things for so long at all…

Something else caught the boy’s eye.

“Oh, wow! How long has this been in here?”

He reached in and pulled out a ragged looking faded red collar.

Brian looked at him again, eyes lighting up a bit as he caught sight of the item.

“Hey, let me see that.”

He stood up and took a couple of steps over to the boy before snatching the collar out of the tyke’s small hand. He began smiling as he looked it over.

“This is my first collar you guys got for me.”

He ran his paw over the material, his mind going distant as he reminisced about his early days in the Griffin home.

“When was it replaced?”

Stewie’s voice shook the dog out of his revelry. He handed the collar back to the boy.

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s been a little while. It wasn’t much longer after that time I had to go bring you back home after you ran off to go live on Jolly Farm.”

Stewie nodded his head, remembering that adventure vividly. Such early days in his and Brian’s relationship... The memories couldn’t help but bring a smile to his face, as well.

“So, I’m assuming you’d want to hold on to this?”

The dog placed a paw on his chin as he seriously thought over that question. After a minute or so, he finally just shook his head.

“No. I probably shouldn’t. It’s got sentimental value, but look at it. It’s already falling apart, and it’s not like it’s ever going to be used again.”

His smile fell slightly as he pointed at the discard pile.

“Add it with the rest, I guess.”

Stewie responded with a curt nod. He turned around as if he was about to toss the item away, but as soon as Brian had turned around, he pocketed it instead and immediately went back to looking through his assigned box. He was getting towards the bottom, now.

More old toys.

A newspaper from years ago.

A now obsolete porno mag.

A wand.

A…

_Wait a minute…_

He looked back at that last item and retrieved it from the box, a huge grin on his face.

“You kept this!?”

“Huh?”

The dog looked up once again, eyes quickly locking on the wand.

“Oh! There it is.”

The child waved the wand around playfully, swiping it towards the canine a few times as he pretended to put a spell on him.

Brian reached in and pulled something out of his box, a black top hat.

“The rest of the outfit is in here. I was beginning to think I’d lost the wand. Wonder how it got seperated…”

Stewie ceased playing with the wand as he stood up and pitter-pattered his way over to Brian to have a look for himself.

“You kept the whole magician’s outfit?”

Brian shrugged.

“I kept all that magic crap. That stuff wasn’t cheap.”

Stewie reached into Brian’s box and retrieved a black cape that he immediately placed over his shoulders before taking the top hat from Brian and placing it on his head.

“I mean, I get that it wasn’t cheap but did you think you would actually ever need it again? Our last show didn’t exactly…”

He paused for a second as he recalled that day.

“Well, we didn’t actually get to put on a show at all.”

He shook his head.

“Kind of a waste when you think about it. My outfits weren’t exactly cheap, either.”

He struck a dramatic pose with his wand and magician’s getup as Brian considered him curiously.

“Did you...keep all those?”

The child chuckled as he jumped out of his pose, offering the dog a wink as he replied.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Brian’s eyes went a little wide before he turned his attention back to the box. He cleared his throat.

“Well, like I said, that stuff was expensive. We’ll call it a maybe, for now. We should hurry up and finish up down here. Lois is going to want you for your nap here pretty soon.”

And, with that, it was clear that the dog was done with the subject.

Stewie frowned slightly, but didn’t protest. Instead, he quickly gathered up the rest of the magician’s outfit that was in the box before walking back to finish looking through his. He took off the articles of clothing that he had donned and placed those plus the wand in their own little pile beside the box. He regarded the outfit for a minute, hands on his hips as he continued to remember that day.

_All that money spent on something that was never even really used. It really is such a waste…_

He shook his head and was about to turn to start looking through his box again. He stopped midturn, though, as a thought suddenly rushed through his brilliant mind, and at that thought, the grin returned to his lips. A finger went up to tap at his chin as he began to mull this thought over.

_You know, why not? It could be fun!_

* * *

“You want to do what?”

The dog spoke the words through a yawn as he closed the door and shut off the light, leaving the baby’s room in pitch black aside from the glow of the streetlamp outside shining through barely parted curtains. He began walking over to his usual spot on the floor as Stewie explained further.

“We should give our magic act another shot! I’ve been thinking about it ever since we found that stuff in the basement, and you know, would it really hurt to actually get your money’s worth out of all that? Maybe actually turn a profit?”

Brian did his best to take all this into his tired brain as he took his place on the floor. He yawned again and shut his eyes.

“I bought that stuff ages ago, Stewie. I’m not exactly feeling the financial hurt anymore.”

Another long yawn.

“Seems like kind of a hassle.”

The canine heard the child huff. He could practically see the scowl on the boy’s face in his mind’s eye.

“Well, excuse me. I wasn’t aware that you considered our activities together a hassle.”

The canine groaned and opened one of his eyes so that he could look up at the boy who was still standing in his crib.

“You know good and well that’s not what I meant.”

The infant folded his arms and huffed again.

“Oh, do I? Well, tell me, Brian, what it is exactly that you meant.”

The dog shook his head, knowing that he had no chance of getting any peace until this discussion was resolved.

_I swear he’s like a naggy girlfrie…_

He cut that thought off quickly, sitting up so that he was almost face to face with the baby.

“Look, you know I like doing things with you, alright? Is that really something I need to prove, at this point? Because I would hope not! But, you also know how these things usually go, Stewie. It’s _never_ as simple as ‘Oh! Let’s just do the thing!’. Things always end up getting crazy. And, frankly, I’m not exactly into magic all that much, so I’m not sure it’s worth the risk. Plus, I had to practice for hours just to get ready for that _one_ show we were going to do, and I was barely competent enough for that. I was just trying to get laid, for crying out loud! I don’t know, man… It just seems like a lot of work for, well...nothing.”

Silence for a beat, and then, “Well, I think it could be fun.”

The canine exhaled a deep breath through his nostrils.

“That’s it? Really?”

He shook his head and snorted.

“You just want an excuse to wear those outfits, don’t you?”

The boy’s arms finally fell then, his eyes widening just a bit as he seemed to quickly try and come up with a response.

“I… So what if that’s all it is? I mean, it’s not, but also, I do think they’re pretty cute… What’s it to you? What do you have going on that’s so important?”

Hands went to hips then as the infant regained his air of superiority.

“I don’t really think it would be all that inconvenient for you. If anything it’s something productive for you to do instead of sitting here at home all day watching television and slowly chipping away at whatever _brilliant_ piece of prose you’ve conjured up this go around.”

The dog actually winced, the sarcasm stinging him more than he would like to admit.

Stewie noticed. His expression softened a bit as he continued.

“It was...just an idea, Bry. Something for us to do. I know someone who has a birthday party coming up. So, if you decide to give this thing another shot, I can probably get us into that.”

The infant moved to lie down, a quiet yawn escaping past his lips.

“Just think about it. Ok?”

He pulled the blanket up over his torso and rolled over, facing away from the animal.

Brian remained sitting there, not exactly sure what to say. Why was Stewie always the one in control of these conversations? What? They were just going to stop talking about it now that the kid had decided he was too tired to continue with the discussion?

Brian sighed and laid his body back down on the floor.

“Alright, fine.”

He closed his eyes and yawned one last time.

“I’ll think about it.”

A part of him knew, though, that even by conceding just that much he had basically already given in to Stewie’s wishes. That’s how it always went.

He shrugged, fidgeting a bit before drifting off to sleep.

_Heh. What else is new?_

* * *

Brian helped Stewie finish setting up the table, frown never leaving his face.

“Hey, now, Mr. Grumpy. You can’t be looking like that once the party guests start showing up. You’re not here to depress everyone. You gotta be chipper! See?”

The baby jumped and struck a pose, landing on black pumps while flaunting his scarlet dress and tossing the red hair of his wig a bit as he motioned towards the table showily with long white-gloved hands and a big smile.

Brian’s lips refused to upturn. He felt absolutely ridiculous in this outfit: top hat, black cape, red bowtie, all tied together with a black dress jacket and gray button-up.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”

Stewie chuckled at the notion, straightening up an uneven section of the pink tablecloth that he had noticed.

“Well, I can’t believe that you can’t believe it.”

The dog was about to retort, but just then, the birthday boy’s parents made their way into the backyard from inside the house.

The father turned to address Brian.

“Are you two almost ready? We’re about to send Kevin and his friends out here. They’re getting restless indoors.”

A familiar sensation washed over Brian then, and he was left standing there with his mouth hanging open.

Stewie rushed to step in, making sure to speak in his slightly higher-pitched disguised voice.

“We’re all set out here, sir!”

The boy threw the man a wink, more of an instinctual response than anything. Though, he did get a little satisfaction at watching the scowl that appeared on his wife’s face. It was always nice to know that others saw him as potential competition, not that he had any interest in wrecking a home just to get with such an average looking individual. So not worth the drama.

“Well, alright, then. I guess we’ll go get the boys.”

The man smiled at him before turning around to head back into the house with his wife.

Stewie looked back over at his show partner. The dog was still standing there looking dumbstruck. He nudged the canine’s elbow with his own.

“Hey, you gonna be alright there?”

The dog jumped at the contact, shaking his head as he pulled himself together.

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine. I just…”

He laughed, mostly to himself as he continued.

“I guess I’m actually getting a little nervous? That’s silly, though. It’s just a bunch of preschoolers…”

Stewie nodded his head and gave his friend a pat on the back.

“You’re right. That is silly. Come on! This is nothing! Things went so well in the rehearsal. You got this, buddy!”

The dog took a breath and straightened his bowtie.

“Right. I got this…”

The kids all began making their way into the yard, all of their parents directing them to walk in single file before they all took a seat on the grass in a perfectly organized line in front of their entertainment.

The dog gulped, unsure of how to even begin.

Luckily, Stewie had him covered. The infant cleared his throat and began speaking loudly while making showy gestures with his hands.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and...well…”

He chuckled effeminately.

“Boys! Prepare to be amazed as you witness feats beyond your wildest imagination! Brace yourselves for a stunning display of sorcery that will leave you both baffled and amazed! Allow me to present the most incredible illusionist this side of West Quahog! The Aaaaaaammmmmmaaaaazing Brian!”

The kids began clapping as Stewie gestured towards Brian.

The dog gave a little wave and took a few bows before the applause finally died down.

Silence.

_Alright. You got this, Brian._

“Thank you for that wonderful introduction, Ste...”

The canine’s eyes went wide as he barely stopped before making a huge mistake.

_Shoot! Did Stewie tell me what his name was supposed to be? I can’t use his real name!_

“...eeeeeeeeelllllllaaaa.”

He smiled awkwardly at the child who just simply smiled back, nodding his head to indicate that the name was fine.

“Well, what can I say, sir. There’s a reason that you hired…”

The disguised infant struck a particularly flashy pose.

“...The Fabulous Stella to be your assistant. I’ve traveled far and wide searching for a magician worthy enough to be assisted by my talents. Let me just say that you are in for quite a show, folks!”

The baby did a graceful turn, grabbing a pitcher of water from off of the table before handing it to The Amazing Brian.

“Shall we proceed with the first trick?”

The canine nodded once before taking the pitcher and walking behind the table.

He smiled broadly, starting to feel some of the tension he was experiencing alleviating. He held up the pitcher.

“You ready to see some magic, kids?”

The children all cheered, further raising the dog’s confidence.

“Alright, then! For my first trick, I will make this water…”

He grabbed a cup that was just off to the side and placed it in front of himself.

“...disappear into this cup.”

The boys all began to _ooooooo_ and _ahhhhhh_ at the idea of the water simply vanishing.

This was an easy trick, though. There was absolutely no way it could go wrong.

The canine began slowly pouring the liquid into the cup.

“Watch carefully, now.”

The crowd leaned in as the dog continued to pour the water, some of them starting to gasp as they saw him pour in more water than the cup should be able to contain. Eventually, the entire small pitcher had been emptied into the cup. Some of the parents went ahead and began applauding the display, but the dog held up a paw to silence them.

A serious expression washed over his face, all for show. He was actually starting to get into his performance, now.

He set the pitcher down and retrieved his wand, which had been sitting on the table this whole time. He began waving the wand over the cup as he spoke the magic words.

“Alakazam!”

The dog lifted up the cup, waiting a few more seconds both so that the trick would work but also as a means of building the suspense in the crowd. Finally, he turned the cup upside down.

No water spilled out.

The crowd cheered and began applauding once more. Brian took a series of bows, feeling quite proud of his performance so far.

But, then, the clapping stopped abruptly.

Brian heard his assistant gasp this time, causing him to look up quickly to see a soaked sponge now resting on the table. It didn’t take him long to realize that the sponge had fallen out of the cup.

He gulped, realizing the secret of the trick had been exposed.

_Shit…_

He sat the cup down awkwardly, his brain working like crazy to find a way to fix this situation. The canine stammered a bit before finally saying, “Behold! I… I’ve turned the water into a...sponge…”

He laughed nervously, which probably didn’t help to sell his now modified trick.

Stewie gasped again, this time feigning surprise as he began addressing the crowd.

“Absolutely incredible! How about that, ladies and gentlemen!?”

One person started clapping again, slowly, but they quickly stopped when they realized they were the only one applauding the poor display. Everyone else was either frowning or snickering.

Not good.

It was Stewie’s turn to try and come up with something quick.

The child began laughing ruefully, though he tried to maintain an air of cheeriness with his expression.

“Ohhhhhh, man… We sure… We sure got you.”

Everyone in the crowd gave the pair a look of pure bafflement. Not the kind of

bafflement Brian and Stewie were hoping for, though.

Stewie continued anyway, determined to save their show from its horrendous start. He scoffed at the crowd a tad mockingly.

“Pffft! Disappearing water!? Did you really think that was an honest attempt at a trick? How many of you honestly _didn’t_ know there was a sponge in that cup?”

The baby was trying to make the method for the trick seem like the most obvious thing in the world, and judging by the crowds reaction, it seemed to work. No one was owning up to having ever not known a sponge was in the cup.

Good. Maybe there was some hope for getting this back on track.

“What you just witnessed, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly the kind of kiddy trick you would have gotten if you had gone with your average party magician. But, let me assure you, The Amazing Brian…”

A quick gesture towards the dog behind the table who was trying to regain his composure after picking up on Stewie’s crazy but admittedly kind of genius plan.

“...is not your average party magician. So, now that you’ve seen what you would be getting from the rest, have a gander at the incredible feats of the best!”

It worked. The crowd began applauding again. Stewie’s little speech had done wonders for rekindling their excitement. They were ready to see something truly great.

Brian stood there in astonishment for a moment before shrugging his nerves off once more. He gave a casual swipe to the cup and sponge, knocking both items off the table as he waved his wand with a flourish.

“Thank you, Stella! You know, it’s always risky starting a show this way, but luckily, I have such a talented assistant to help me pull it off.”

He cleared his throat.

“But, enough with the games. Let’s move on to our first real trick for the day.”

The canine reached under the table and procured three large, metal rings. He held them up high so that the audience could see, making sure to keep his paw over one particular section of the rings.

The crowd watched him carefully as he began showing them each ring one by one.

“As you can see, these three rings are solid all the way around.”

He took two of the rings and began hitting the edges together, making a loud clinking sound as he continued his explanation.

“You couldn’t possibly force them together.”

The dog continued to hit the rings together as if to drive the point home, but then, miraculously, one of the rings slipped through the other linking them together.

The crowd gasped, and Brian smirked, feeling quite proud of himself.

“That is...unless you have a little magic.”

The audience began clapping loudly.

Brian continued to show off the two now linked rings for a bit before moving on to the next move, the unlinking.

He gave the lower-hanging ring a spin for show, and then went to pull them apart, twisting one of the rings so that it would slip through a gap that he had been concealing in his paw this whole time.

It...almost worked.

It would have worked...

...if Brian hadn’t moved his paw too far over and revealed the gap to pretty much the whole audience.

“Hey, those rings aren’t solid!”

_Uh oh…_

Brian gulped.

Stewie facepalmed, turning to give his partner an exasperated look as he whispered under his breath.

“Don’t expect me to save your ass this time!”

Just then, all the boys began to boo the dog loudly and obnoxiously.

The dog dropped the rings and began stammering wildly as he searched for coherent words to say, trying his best not to panic and bolt out of the backyard.

“I-I-I… Ha… Haha! I fooled you again. Y-You know what they say. F-Fool me once…”

“This guy stinks!” one of the boys suddenly cried out, and all the others began shouting out their agreements.

The canine felt his heart racing. His eyes began darting all over the table as he searched for something to distract the mob of preschoolers that was growing ever more restless. They eventually landed on a deck of cards. He grabbed it and held it up.

“How about some card tricks!”

A smile spread across his face that was borderline as he began shuffling the deck. Unfortunately, he paws were shaking so much that his attempt at a simple shuffled resulted in him simply spilling the cards all over the ground.

Everyone in the crowd erupted into uproarious laughter.

Brian couldn’t help but let his smile fall as his ears took in the sounds of the audience mocking him. He looked over and saw Stewie with his head hanging low and shaking slowly. The dog’s head followed suit as he resigned himself to his fate and endured the laughs and jeers of adults and children alike. He sighed.

_Well, at least the kids are happy…_

* * *

Brian and Stewie were sitting in their own little corner of Kevin’s backyard at a wooden picnic table, eating some cake that had been graciously provided by the birthday boys’ parents. The dog was still feeling pretty foolish. He wasn’t sure that their show could have gone any worse, and he was just ready to finish his dessert, pack up his things, and get the fuck out of there. He wasn’t even going to bother asking for his payment. Who in their right mind would pay him after such a disastrous display?

“We’ll work on it.”

The voice of Stewie ripped him from his thoughts. He looked over and saw the infant smiling as he popped another bite of cake into his mouth with his plastic fork.

Brian shook his head and set his plate down.

“We’ll work on it?”

The baby nodded his head as he swallowed.

“Mmhmm. Look, this was the first show we’ve ever done. It was bound to be a tad...unprofessional…”

The dog snorted.

“I think it might have been more than a _tad_ unprofessional, Stewie…”

Another bite.

“Well, you’re right about that, but I was trying to be a little courteous. I think you’ve endured enough humiliation for the day, don’t you?”

Brian didn’t say anything back, just watched as Stewie took his last bite before daintily wiping his mouth with a paper napkin that had some weird looking cartoon character on it.. He picked his plate back up and began eating his own piece.

A few moments later, Kevin’s parents began making their way over to the magic pair.

The dad spoke first.

“How’s that cake treatin’ ya?”

Stewie cleared his throat and replied in his disguised voice.

“Oh, it was just lovely! May I ask where you got it?”

“That would be my handiwork, thank you.”

The man’s wife interjected somewhat rudely

Under normal circumstances, Stewie would have pointed this out, but he was on the job, after all. Can’t be snapping at paying customers. No, no.

“Well, you have my compliments. It was absolutely delicious.”

The woman smiled a tad smugly, and Stewie had to fight to keep the smile on his face.

Luckily, as the tension began to become noticable, the father pulled out his wallet and moved to address Brian.

“Ok, so your rate is one-fifty an hour and you’ve been here for about two now sooooo…”

He pulled out three one-hundred dollar bills and offered them to the dog.

“I believe this will cover everything.”

Brian almost choked on the last bite of cake that he was in the process of swallowing, causing Stewie to rush and slap him on the back a few times so that the food would go down. The canine had to stop for a moment to catch his breath before finally responding. Though, he regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

“You’re actually paying us!?”

Stewie facepalmed. He didn’t care who saw.

_Well, maybe not anymore, you dumb mutt!_

The father simply looked at the animal, confused.

“Well, yeah… Why wouldn’t I?”

Brian’s mouth got ahead of his brain, once more.

“But, we were terrible!”

He could immediately feel the glare coming from Stewie.

“Hey, speak for yourself, buddy!”  
The dog would have responded, but he was cut off by the man laughing.

“Haha! I was trying not to bring that up, but yeah, it was pretty bad…”

Brian shrunk back, feeling foolish for ever taking on this venture with Stewie.

“But,” the man started again, causing the dog’s ears to perk up.

“I understand that you guys have your off days, and the fact of the matter is that bringing all your stuff here and setting it up was still work. You still took time out of your day to offer your services, and really, I wouldn’t feel right making you two leave with nothing, so…”

He held out the bills more insistently.

“We’ll just call it a bad day at the office and leave it at that. How’s that sound?”

The dog’s paw was practically a blur as he reached out to snatch the bills with a big grin and a wag of his tail.

“Hey, sounds good to me!”

He pocketed the money and stood up from the bench.

“I guess we should start packing up our stuff and getting out of here.”

The man nodded his head.

“No rush. You know the way out.”

And, with that said, the man turned to walk away, his wife following closely behind.

Stewie stood up then, his arms moving to fold over his chest.

“Oh, well, look at you so suddenly cheery and chipper, but then again, I guess that is the power of the mighty dollar.”

The canine turned to address the baby.

“Look, Stewie, I didn’t even think we were going to get paid today! Excuse me for finding a silver lining here.”

The infant just shook his head and allowed his arms to fall to his sides as he responded.

“Well, you can’t keep skirting by on the generosity of others. If we’re going to keep doing this, then we’re going to need to work on a few things.”

Brian had already begun walking away from their table before the child had finished, causing Stewie to shout after him.

“Brian!”

The canine turned around, still wearing that grin.

“Yeah?”

Stewie wanted to seem mad for being ignored, but the sight of the dog fully standing there in his magician’s getup, smiling so genuinely quickly softened any anger he was feeling. He felt his heartbeat beginning to quicken.

“So, we are going to keep doing this, right?”

No hesitation as Brian began nodding his head.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. Now, come on. We need to get all our stuff out of here.”

He turned around and began walking away once more.

Stewie followed quickly behind him. He was looking forward to doing this again.

* * *

“So, I just move my hands like so, aaaaaand voila! The rings are unlinked!”

The dog sat there on a lawn chair in the backyard of the Griffin home watching the baby perform the trick he had failed. Stewie had repeated the motions several times by now, making it appear like the most effortless thing ever, and while Brian understood that the boy was trying to help him, it still irked him that everything seemed to come so naturally to Stewie. What? He was a professional illusionist, now? Sure. Why not..?

“Want me to show you again?”

Brian shook his head and reached out to take the rings.

“I know how the trick is done, Stewie. I mean, you’ve seen me perform it in rehearsal without any trouble.”

The child nodded his head.

“Mmhmm. And I’ve seen you completely botch it when it actually counts. So, go on. Show me how it’s done, Brian.”

The canine groaned, and held out the rings as if he was presenting them to an audience.

“I show the crowd the rings to show them that they are solid, all the while keeping my paw over the gap in the one ring.”

He went through a more sped-up version of the usual routine as he quickly showed off each individual ring, keeping the gap on the trick ring successfully concealed in his palm the whole time.

Stewie watched on analyzing him carefully for even the slightest error. So far, so good.

“Ok. Let’s see some magic.”

The dog set the rings up for the trick and began hitting two of them together.

“See? Completely solid. No way to put the together.”

He hit them together a few more times before making the move, quickly moving the solid up and through the concealed gap in his palm. To the untrained eye, it looked like he had simply forced one of the rings through the other. A perfect maneuver.

The canine looked over at his partner, seeking validation for his good work.

Stewie was still simply watching him stoically. After a few seconds he motioned for the dog to continue.

“Ok. That’s the easy part. Really ‘wow’ me, now.”

Brian gave a little huff before continuing. He gave the solid ring a spin, and then, went to unhook it, twisting the ring around and through he gap once more, still keeping the secret of the trick successfully hidden. He held the two rings up and began rubbing them together as he slowly pulled them apart, making it appear as if the rings were phasing through each other despite already being unhooked. With one more forceful pull, he finished the move, revealing the rings to now be separated.

It was exactly how it should have gone at Kevin’s party, and really, Brain was fairly proud of himself despite the fact that the trick really was pretty simple.

Stewie just continued sitting there wordlessly, going over the canine’s display in his head. It wasn’t until Brian began tapping his foot impatiently against his chair that he broke his silence.

“That wasn’t too bad.”

The dog smiled and was about thank Stewie for the compliment, but the child quickly cut him off.

“I mean, I guess it was good enough. It will definitely fool a bunch of kids, but you really need to relax, man.”

The dog blinked at him.

“Re-lax? What do you mean? I was relaxed.”

Stewie shook his head.

“Brian, your movements were stiffer than Herbert at a Boy Scouts meeting.”

The canine flinched slightly at the crude metaphor.

Stewie stood up and walked up to the dog.

“Look, you’ve got the moves down, but they’re so...mechanical. You have to make what you’re doing appear effortless. There needs to be a sort of...flow to it all. You know what I mean? Like a dance. You need to dance with those rings, Brian! Let instinct take over. Don’t think about it so much. That’s what got you in trouble at the party.”

He reached out and took the dog’s arms and began gently moving them side to side.

“Graceful movements like this. It’ll help the trick look better, and it’ll make you seem much more confident to everyone watching you. It’s all in the presentation, buddy.”

The infant smiled at him as they both began swaying side to side in a motion that could barely be considered dancing.

Still, it was enough to make the canine feel a tad uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and gently pulled away from the boy’s grasp.

“I...think I get it, Stewie.”

A touch of red infused the boy’s cheeks as he quickly turned away to retake his seat in the lawn chair across from Brian.

“We’ll come back to it. Let’s go over some other things.”

Brian leaned forward, hands on his knees as he replayed his previous performance over in his head.

“You know, really, it all fell apart with the water trick.”

Stewie chuckled ruefully.

“Oh, boy, did it ever…”

He began tapping his chin thoughtfully.

“We’ll have to really make sure that sponge is secure. Maybe we should use less water…”

He looked over at Brian, then.

“You also probably shouldn’t hold the cup upside down for so long. Just give it a quick turn over to prove your point. The audience doesn’t need much.”

Brian nodded his head, accepting the boy’s feedback. At least Stewie was being pretty civil about it. He was actually surprised that there hadn’t been much teasing going on as they talked about this. It actually felt kind of professional, which made Brian much more willing to take the baby’s notes into account. They were working together here. It was kind of nice, actually.

“Wanna go over some card tricks? You seem to have those down pretty well, but some practice never hurt.”

The boy snorted somewhat derisively as he finished with, “Plus, it would be nice if we could keep you from dropping the whole bloody deck again.”

Brian frowned slightly. Ah. There it was. It was nice while it lasted, he figured.

With a barely audible sigh, the canine stood up.

“Sure. I’ll just run inside to grab the deck. Be right back.”

And he was. Back in a flash so that he and Stewie could continue to refine their act well into the evening. Considering Brian actually did want to put on a good show next time, he saw it as a very worthwhile endeavour. Plus, he found it pretty satisfying to work with Stewie toward a common goal. The time flew right by, and before they knew it, the pair was being called inside for dinner.

All in all, by the end of the session, the dog was feeling much more confident about the whole magic thing. He couldn’t wait to show off at the next show.

* * *

“Ladies and gentlemen, The Aaaaaaamaaaaaziiiiiing Brian!”

The children and parents all clapped as the dog stood up from behind the table that had been set up for today’s birthday performance. He waited for the applause to die down before addressing his audience.

“Who’s ready to see some magic!?”

The kids all cheered as the canine began setting up for his first trick, grabbing a pitcher of water that was sitting off to the side as well as a normal looking red, plastic cup.

“Ok, then! Let’s start today’s show off with something truly amazing. Tell me, boys and girls, have you ever seen water disappear?”

One little boy responded.

“You mean like when it disappears down the drain?”

Stewie snickered and tried his best to respond to the child in a manner that didn’t come across as too demeaning.

“No. No. No. That is not what The Amazing Brian means at all.”

A wave of his hands.

A feigned look of awe.

“He means _really_ disappear, vanish into thin air!”

The children all shook their heads.

Brian chuckled.

“Well, of course you haven’t. Water can’t just disappear without any explanation.”

He picked up the pitcher then.

“Unless...you use a little magic.”

He began pouring the water into the cup slowly.

“Watch carefully now.”

The children all leaned in as their attention was completely held by what the dog was doing.

Just like before, a few people began to gasp as Brian poured more water into the cup than it was seemingly able to contain. Before long, the whole pitcher had been emptied. The parents began to applaud. The children soon followed suit.

The canine paused to revel in the praise for a few moments before motioning for them to cease.

He grabbed the cup, holding it aloft for all to see before tilting it completely upside down.

No water spilled out.

This earned more sounds of amazement as everyone began clapping even louder than before.

Once the applause started back up again, Brian returned the cup to its upright position on the table, shooting his assistant a smile as he did so.

Stewie smiled back before clutching his chest in faux shock as he began exclaiming, “Absolutely incredible!”

He turned towards the crowd.

“Are you beginning to see why he’s called The Amazing Brian, folks!?”

Several people nodded.

Brian waited patiently for the applause to die down again before moving on with the show.

So far, so good.

He reached under the table and retrieved three large metal rings.

“Behold! Three rings made of solid metal.”

He held the rings out for the audience to see, taking time to show off each ring one by one as he continued to explain his next feat.

“As even the young ones here know, you can not pass a solid through a solid.”

He began knocking the rings together just like in his last performance, making that familiar clinking sound, a nice steady rhythm as he made his point.

“At least that’s what the laws of physics would have you believe.”

He went for the move then, continuing to conceal the gap as he quickly brought one of the rings up and through the small hole. To the audience it simply looked like one ring had passed right through and linked to another.

Another series of gasps rang out, with one little girl actually saying “Wow!” out loud.

Perfect.

He continued to casually mess with the rings, as if breaking the laws of physics was just the most natural thing in the world for a magician like him. The dog proudly displayed the two linked rings before moving to link a third. His paws were a blur as he gave one ring a spin before appearing to slam another ring through the one he was holding.

More gasps, and then, more applause.

He now had all three rings linked together, which he was more than happy to show off to the audience as they clapped their approval.

The canine basked in their amazement for a while, taking a look over at his assistant. Stewie was smiling at him, mouthing the words “Way to go!” before turning back to the audience.

“I know! I know! It’s quite impressive, isn’t it, ladies and gentlemen?”

He looked back over at Brian, nodding for him to continue.

The canine nodded back, and then, without saying a word, in a flurry of motions, proceeded to completely unlink the rings before simply setting them each back down on the table one at a time with a cocky smirk.

The cheering audience grew ever louder, totally enamoured by the display.

The dog took a bow, but didn’t wait too long before raising his paws up to silence the audience.

“Thank you! Thank you! You’re too kind!”

He waited for the sounds of clapping hands to die down before reaching over for another object on the table.

It was just an ordinary pencil.

He chuckled.

“Now, I doubt any of you have ever seen anything as incredible as this next trick.”

This sentence was delivered with an extra bit of gravitas, all the better to sell the next part of his act.

He took hold of the pencil by the eraser end and held it out for the crowd to see.

“Here we have just an ordinary pencil, but…”

He began wiggling the pencil rapidly.

“Now, it’s a rubber pencil!”

It was one of the oldest tricks in the book. He doubted anybody, even the children, would find it particularly impressive, but that was kind of the point.

It was just a little gag to amuse his audience, which most of them seemed to pick up on.

The kids laughed.

The adults shook their heads.

Some eyes were rolled.

But, everyone seemed to be having a good time.

Stewie placed his hands on his cheeks and gasped loudly.

“Ohhhh, my! However does he do it!”

More laughter as Brian set the pencil down while trying to contain his own.

“Well, Stella, I’m afraid I can’t give away _all_ of my secrets.”

He gave his partner a wink before moving on.

“But seriously now, ladies and gentlemen, how about a real trick?”

A few kids nodded as the dog retrieved a deck of playing cards and began shuffling them.

“Stella, would you please find me a volunteer from the audience as I shuffle?”

Stewie nodded and began scanning the audience, making a thoughtful humming sound as he looked the children over.

“Hmmmm. Let me see here…”

He eventually landed on a boy who looked just a bit less enthused with the show than his fellow partygoers were. He pointed at him.

“Aha! You there!”

The boy’s eyes widened slightly, though he didn’t say a word.

Stewie motioned for the boy to come up next to him by the table.

“That’s right. You! Come on up, and assist The Amazing Brian with his next demonstration.”

One of the parents, presumably the boy’s mother, leaned down and whispered in his ear. The child looked at the woman, eyes seeming a bit uncertain, before finally standing up and walking up next to the magician’s assistant.

Stewie smiled at him, trying to make their volunteer a little more comfortable.

“Can I get your name, young man?”

The boy looked down at the ground as he mumbled out his response.

“I-Isaac.”

Brian stopped shuffling the cards and began walking out from around the table to join the pair in front.

“Everyone, give Isaac here a big round of applause.”

Everyone clapped.

The boy smiled slightly as he shuffled his feet nervously.

Brian waited for the clapping to stop before fanning out the cards face down and holding them out for the child with a big friendly smile.

“Pick a card, any card, Isaac.”

The boy considered his options for only a brief moment before quickly pulling a card from the deck.

The canine quickly turned his head away from his volunteer and audience.

“Ok. Look at it carefully. Memorize which card it is. Actually, just show the whole audience so everyone can see it.”

The child followed the instructions, turning the card towards the children and parents and holding it up for everyone to see.

After a few seconds, Brian spoke again.

“Alright. Now, put the card back in with the others.”

The boy did so.

The dog turned his head back around, making sure that all the cards were still face down before proceeding to shuffle them up again. As he shuffled, he spoke seriously to his volunteer.

“You remember which card you picked, Isaac?”

The boy nodded.

Brian nodded back.

“Good. What I’m going to need you to do now for me is think about that card. Think about it really hard, Isaac.”

The child nodded again.

“Ok.”

His face scrunched up then in a look of pure concentration as he began focusing on that single card.

The canine continued to shuffle his cards for a little while longer before turning to Stewie and handing him the deck.

“Stella, would you please hold these out for me just like I did for Isaac a moment ago?”

An effeminate giggle escaped the boy as he began fanning out the deck. It was kind of adorable to see his partner getting so into his role.

“It would be my pleasure, sir.”

He held the cards out for Brian.

The dog took a breath and held out his paw over the selection of cards, scrunching up his face in a similar way to how Isaac had. He began waving his paw back and forth over the cards slowly.

“Keep thinking about that card, Isaac. You’re doing great, buddy.”

He continued to wave his paw over the cards, slowing down with each pass over the deck before stopping, hovering his paw over a specific card.

“Now, tell me, Isaac…”

He pulled out the card and showed it to the boy.

“Is this your card?”

The boy’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, wow! How did you do that!?”

Brian snickered and turned to show the card, a three of clubs, to the audience. He was smirking proudly.

“Magic.”

Everyone began clapping once more.

The dog took a bow, and then, handed the card to Isaac.

“Here you go. Keep it.”

The child smiled ear to ear before taking the card and running off to show it to his mother.

The canine took one more bow before moving back behind the table. He grabbed a second deck that had been sitting on the table next to the one he had just used.

“I believe we have time for one more trick. I wouldn’t want to keep you all here too long. I believe our birthday star is pretty eager to get into their presents.”

A young girl in the group began nodding her head enthusiastically, causing the parents to laugh.

Brian began shuffling the deck.

“That’s what I thought.”

He spent a decent amount of time shuffling the deck before finally stopping and turning the cards face up on the table. He spread them out so that they were all visible.

“For this next trick, I need these cards to be in as random an order as possible. What do you guys think? They seem pretty random to you?”

The parents leaned forward to better see the cards on the table while some of the kids stood up to get a better look. Everyone nodded their heads and hummed in agreement. Brian smiled, satisfied.

“Well, if you guys are satisfied…”

He gathered the cards back up and squared them in his paw before turning them back upside down.

“Get ready to see something truly incredible.”

He pointed at Stewie.

“Stella, tell me, what’s the first card in a suit?”

The child batted his hand.

“Try and give me something difficult to answer next time.”

He chuckled.

“It’s the ace, of course.”

The dog gave a firm nod.

“That’s right. Now, let’s see if I can find an ace.”

He pointed at one of the men in the audience.

“You, sir! Can you spell ace for me?”

The man looked a little taken aback, obviously a little surprised to have been called on so suddenly.

“Uhhhh, it’s just a-c-e.”

Brian repeated the letters, taking a card from the top of the deck and placing it on the bottom for each letter he called out.

“A-c-e.”

Three cards moved to the bottom.

“That’s indeed how ace is spelled, so the next card should be…”

He flipped the fourth card over to reveal and ace of hearts.

“Ah. There’s an ace alright!”

Oooooo’s and ahhhhhhh’s emitted from the crowd.

Brian didn’t wait for them to quiet down before pointing at another adult, a woman this time.

“Lowest to highest, which card comes next?”

The woman quickly replied.

“Two.”

Brian spelled out the word again moving the cards in the pile from the top to the bottom just as he did before.

“T-w-o.”

He flipped the next card over.

A two of spades.

More shocked reactions from the crowd.

He pointed at a young girl next.

“What’s after two, little lady?”

The little one exclaimed excitedly, “Three!”

The dog proceeded to spell that word next.

“T-h-r-e-e.”

He flipped over the card on the top of the deck.

It was a three of spades.

His audience was completely enraptured by this point. He didn’t slow down, though.

He called on another child to give him the next number, spelling out four after they said it. The four of clubs was then revealed.

This went on all the way up to ten, the crowd growing ever more impressed with each card that was successfully dealt.

After revealing a ten of diamonds, the canine turned towards his assistant. He went to ask for his next card, but the infant cut him off.

“I believe we’re looking for a jack next.”

The dog smiled and began spelling the word.

“J-a-c-k.”

The jack of clubs was then dealt.

Jaws were dropping by this point.

He addressed on of the men.

“Next?”

“Queen!”

“Q-u-e-e-n.”

Queen of diamonds.

He spoke to woman.

“So the last one would be..?”

“King!”

“K-i-n-g.”

A king of hearts.

The canine set the deck down and motioned towards the thirteen that were now face-up on the table.

“There you have it, ladies and gentlemen.”

Everyone began clapping and cheering loudly.

Brian walked out from behind the table to stand next to Stewie. The pair then both began bowing to the crowd, basking in the pride of having performed their first successful show, thanking the crowd as they did so.

It wasn’t until the applause began to subside that they stopped.

Brian turned to the birthday girl.

“Thank you for being such a wonderful audience! But, I believe someone here is ready to open her presents!”

* * *

Brian was in the process of folding up the tablecloth after having taken most of the items for their show out to the car. Stewie had wandered off somewhere, probably mingling with some of the parents, seeing if anyone required their services in the coming weeks. Ever since they had started this whole thing, the child had been completely gung-ho about it, and he had basically taken on the full responsibility of scheduling their gigs. That was fine by Brian. He hadn’t exactly been looking to put a ton of effort into this thing, anyway. Though, for what it was, the pay was nice, and he had to admit that he had actually had a really good time performing this last show. There was something absolutely intoxicating about getting to entertain a crowd of people, even if the majority of them were still children. He thrived on that energy that radiated from a satisfied crowd. So, yeah, this was turning out to be a pretty worthwhile endeavor, he thought.

He whistled happily as he began breaking down the plastic table they had been using, tail wagging slightly and causing his cape to swoosh about. But, his merry little tune was soon cut short when a man began approaching him.

“Hey, buddy! Pretty decent show you put on today!”

The dog finished folding the the legs and set the table down before turning around to see who was calling out to him. It was just one of the many guys he had seen in the crowd, someone’s dad more than likely. The canine smiled as he responded.

“Uh, thanks. Glad you enjoyed yourself.”

The man stopped once he had reached Brian, extending his hand in a friendly gesture.

“Yeah. It was pretty good.”

Brian took the man’s hand and shook it as he continued.

“Not exactly my thing, but better than a lot of crappy acts you see at these parties, you know?”

The canine nodded his head, having some idea what this guy was driving at.

“Yeah. I know what you mean, but hey, so long as the kids are happy, right?”

They released hands.

“Of course. I guess that is what it’s all about.”

A beat of silence, and then, “So, how long you been doing this for?”

Brian took a second to consider how to respond to this. Was it wise to admit just how inexperienced he actually was? Would that hurt their chances of getting work down the line? After a minute he settled on something a little vague.

“Well, I haven’t been doing this too long, actually. I kinda just sort of fell into it, but it’s an amusing little hobby.”

A quick nod from the man before his next question.

“Ok. Ok. That’s cool. Soooooo, uh, your partner there… You guys just partner up for this whole thing? You guys know each other long?”

The dog blinked at the man, the atmosphere becoming just a bit awkward at hearing this sudden inquiry about his young partner.

“What? Oh… Yeah, me and...Stella have known each other for a while, now. This whole thing was actually her idea.”

The man smiled and snapped his fingers.

“See, I knew there was something going on there!”

Brian’s eyes went wide. What was this guy getting at?

“E-Excuse me?”

The man chuckled and gave the canine a pat on the back.

“You and your assistant, man! I could tell that there was something going on between you two. You guys just have that whole chemistry about you. It’s pretty obvious.”

The canine could feel his heart beginning to beat rapidly as he hurriedly blurted out, “There’s nothing between me and St-Stella! We’re just friends!”

The smile on the man’s face fell slightly.

“Oh…”

It quickly returned.

“Soooooo, she’s single?”

The hairs on the dog’s body began to stand up as he began scanning the yard for his companion. Unfortunately, Stewie was nowhere in sight yet, so it looked like he was going to have to work his way out of this strange conversation alone. He gulped, paws clenching and unclenching in a way that he hoped didn’t seem too odd.

“N-No, she’s not.”

A sigh and, then, another snap of the man’s fingers.

“Rats. Oh, well. That’s not surprising, I guess.”

There were several seconds of tense silence before Brian finally cleared his throat.

“Y-Yeah. It’s a… It’s a shame.”

He motioned towards the table he had been breaking down.

“Look, man. I gotta get this stuff packed up. We actually have another house to get to in about an hour, sooooooo…”

The man’s expression shifted into an apologetic one.

“Oh! My bad, dude. I wasn’t trying to keep you. I’ll just get out of your hair.”

He shot the animal pistol fingers.

“Keep up the good work.”

And, then, he turned and walked away, leaving the party magician feeling just a bit more tense than he had been just a few minutes prior.

* * *

“Stewie, I’m not sure this a good idea. Besides that trick is as cliche as it gets.”

The baby was gleefully making his way through the local pet store, searching for one furry critter in particular.

“If you don’t think it’s such a good idea, why are you here with me, then?”

It had been said with such complete nonchalance, but the question still left the dog a little stuck as he tried to come up with a rational response.

 _Why am I here? Why did I drive us here?_ _  
_ Stewie interrupted his thoughts.

“And, sure, it’s cliche, but it’s also one of the most charming tricks in the book. Any magician worth his salt can pull a rabbit out of his hat, Brian. You’ve got the hat, so let’s find ourselves a rabbit.”

The dog went to respond, but he was cut off by the child’s squeals of joy as he found what he was looking for.

“Ohhhhhh my god! Look at them, Brian! Aren’t they adorable!? Look! This one has babies!”

The canine peered through the glass that Stewie was looking through, unable to keep a small smile from appearing on his face.

“Yeah. I guess that is pretty cute.”

He sighed.

“So, what? We’re just supposed to keep one of these at home just so we can use it for a cheap trick?”

The boy turned and shot his partner a glare.

“Of course not!”

His expression softened a bit.

“I mean, this is basically going to be our new pet. It’ll have to be.”

Brian shook his head.

“ _Our_ new pet?”

Stewie nodded his.

“That’s right, mister. Our new pet. I can keep it in my room. I doubt anyone would even care. Remember my ferret? Anyway, we’ll have to take care of it. We’re not monsters. It’ll be our own little furbaby that performs with us!”

The biggest smile appeared on the infant’s face then as he turned back to look at the baby rabbits again.

Brian wanted to offer up some kind of protest. He had in no way agreed to having a new…”furbaby” with Stewie.

He shivered, remembering a particularly horrifying incident from the past that he quickly shoved to the back of his memory.

“You guys are so cute! God, I wish I could take you all home! Hey there, little fella! You’re friendly, aren’t ya. Look at you, coming right up to the front to say hi. You wanna come home with me and this big lummox?”

Ignoring the jab that had been thrown at him, the dog quickly found himself smiling again. The innocence of the moment was nothing if not endearing, and he found a lot of joy in watching his little buddy get so excited over his potential new pet. The thought of breaking his heart was simply unthinkable.

He sighed again.

_Looks like I’m getting a rabbit…_

He kneeled down to get a better look at the little bunny that had seemed to catch Stewie’s eye. It was a cute little thing; small and covered in snow white fur except for a small, circular patch of black just below its right eye. His ears were big and floppy, and he had indeed seemed to have taken an immediate shine to Stewie, little puffball of a tail vibrating as its whiskers twitched in curiosity. It seemed really sweet.

“He does look pretty friendly, huh?”

The boy nodded his head before turning to smile at the canine.

“I like him.”

Brian chuckled. Just like Stewie, ever the quick one to come to conclusions about others. Kid knew what he liked.

Their eyes met, and it was clear in that moment that they had found their new pet.

The moment was interrupted, though, once Stewie’s phone began to ring.

The baby jumped back, startled.

“Oh? Who could that be?”

He reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone, face lighting up as he looked at the number that was trying to contact him.

He answered it.

“Hello?”

A beat.

“Oh, hi, Don! How’s it going?”

The dog’s eyebrow raised a bit at the name “Don”, but he quickly shrugged it off, going back to looking at the bunny while Stewie finished up his phone call.

“Yeah, we’re still available. Yep. We have everything we need. Uh huh. Uh huh. Ok, so Friday, then? Next Friday! Got it! Ok. Thank you, Don.”

He made a smooch sound into the phone.

“Talk to ya later. Bye!”

He, then, hung up.

Brian stood up and turned to address his companion.

“Don?”

Stewie nodded his head.

“Just some guy I know. Anyway, long story short, we’ve got another show booked. This ain’t no children’s birthday party, though. Oh, no. I actually got us booked at a pretty decent venue downtown. Nothing too big. Just a little local club, but hey, it’s a step up, right?”

He nudged the dog playfully with his elbow, and then, pointed at the bunny they had been admiring.

“So, let’s hurry up here and get Houdini to his new home. We have some practicing to do. The Amazing Brian is going to take this town by storm!”

* * *

“Alright, Houdini, ready for your big debut!?”

Brian and Stewie were backstage with their recently adopted pet rabbit getting set up for their first big show at **Dusk** , a local performance venue and bar in Providence.

Stewie was nuzzling the cute little bunny’s nose affectionately, trying to calm it down.

Brian, meanwhile, was just trying to get his stage fright under control, taking deep breaths as he went over the routine he had been practicing for the past several days over and over in his head.

Suddenly, he felt a hand touch his arm.

He looked over to see Stewie offering up a lipsticked grin.

“Hey, don’t get too worked up, now. You’re going to do fine.”

The dog took another breath and nodded his head confidently.

“Y-Yeah. It’ll all be fine. I’ve got this.”

The child gave him one last reassuring pat on the back before offering him the rabbit.

“Here, take Houdini. We’re on soon, and we need to get him settled in his handkerchief.”

Brian took the animal, holding him carefully as Stewie walked over to their new rolling table to search for the handkerchief they needed.

He stood there a bit awkwardly. He was still getting used to caring for Stewie’s new pet. Well, actually, Stewie kept insisting that it was _their_ pet, but the rabbit so obviously favored the young boy over him. Maybe it was because he was a dog?

Before he could think about that for much longer, Stewie had returned with the handkerchief.

“Ok, Houdini, just like we rehearsed! Don’t be scared!”

He opened up the handkerchief and held it out towards Brian who carefully set the calm bunny down before wrapping the handkerchief loosely around the animal, securing the ends with some metal fasteners that were on each corner of the fabric.

Once Houdini was secure, Stewie slowly walked him back over to the table and hung the handkerchief on the backside, leaving Houdini to hang comfortable. It was almost like a little hammock, honestly, perfectly safe.

The infant then walked back over to Brian, motioning back at the table with his head.

“Remember, push the table out there gently. We don’t want to startle him.”

Brian nodded.

“I know. I know.”

The lights began to go down, and a man walked up to them wearing a huge smile

“Alright. You two all set?”

Stewie was the first to answer in his disguised voice.

“We’re ready to go. The real question is whether or not the audience is ready.”

The man clapped his hands and rubbed them together.

“That’s what I like to hear!”

He, then, proceeded out onto the stage to address the audience.

“How are you doing tonight, folks!?”

The crowd in the bar cheered, and the man on stage waited for their shouts to die down before continuing with his introduction.

“We’ve got a little something different to start you guys off with tonight. Hope you guys enjoy magic because we’ve got a magician in the house that hails from our little neighboring town of Quahog. Please, everyone, give a warm welcome to our newcomer, The Amazing Brian and his lovely assistant The Fabulous Stella!”

Brian gulped as he grabbed the table and began carefully rolling it out onto the stage, allowing Stewie to lead the way.

The pair made their way to centerstage. Stewie was waving to the crowd and blowing them kisses. Brian couldn’t help but notice a couple of wolf whistles in the cacophony of applause and approving shouts. He smiled warmly to the audience, taking his place behind the table once they had reached their place on stage.

The man began making his way offstage, only stopping briefly to lean down and whisper in the canine’s ear.

“Knock ‘em dead.”

And, with that, he gave Brian a friendly pat on the back and proceeded to exit stage right.

The sounds of the crowd began to die down, allowing Stewie to finally speak to them clearly.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Tonight it is our goal to entertain and dazzle with spectacles beyond your wildest imagination. But, to start things off, we thought we would perform one of the most classic tricks for you. Now, watch as The Amazing Brian pulls a rabbit out of his hat.”

He turned gracefully to face the canine before stepping off to the side.

“Take it away, sir!”

The crowd applauded briefly, quickly quieting down so that Brian could speak.

The canine cleared his throat and shook off some of the nerves he was still feeling.

It was showtime.

“Thank you, everyone. Let’s get right into the magic, shall we?”

He removed his top hat and turned it so that the audience could see inside.

“As you can clearly see there is nothing inside my hat.”

He reached over for his wand that was sitting on the table and began tracing the interior of the hat with it.

“Completely empty, no way to conceal anything.”

A shout erupted from the crowd.

“Hey, Mr. Phony! Let me see the hat so I can prove that you’re a big fat phony!”

The canine blinked at the sudden interruption, eyes traveling downward to see an obnoxious looking man in glasses sitting up front.

“Uhhhhh…”

Stewie cut in.

“Why, of course, good sir. But, just know, you will find no evidence of any trickery going on.”

He walked over to Brian who wordlessly offered up his hat before hopping down into the crowd and handing it to the unpleasant bar patron.

The man took it and began to thoroughly inspect it. At first his grin was smug and cocky, but as he quickly realized the hat was indeed just a normal top hat, that air of confidence began to fade. After a while, Stewie cleared his throat and asked politely, “Are we satisfied, now?”

With nothing left to say, the man simply nodded his head and handed the hat back to the lovely assistant who quickly made his way back on stage to return it to its owner.

Brian took his hat back and offered a smile of gratitude towards his partner before turning back to the audience.

“Well, with that out of the way, I will now pull a rabbit out of my hat.”

Stewie spoke then, a perfect diversion as Brian twirled his hat around for a bit, stopping it with the open end facing him. This made it so that he was able to quickly grab the handkerchief that was in front of him and, in one fluid motion, secretly place it into the hat while setting the hat upright.

“Prepare to be amazed, ladies and gentlemen!”

He redirected the crowd‘s attention back to Brian.

The dog took his wand and began to wave it in circles over the hat.

“Abra-”

He gave the hat a firm tap.

“-cadabra!”

He then set the wand down and reached into the hat, pretending to search around the hat as he undid the handkerchief to reveal Houdini still sitting there calmly. He grabbed the rabbit and carefully lifted him out of the hat.

The crowd gasped as the canine proudly presented the bunny for the audience to see.

“That’s amazing!”

Stewie chuckled.

“Of course, what else did you expect from The Amazing Brian?”

Everyone began clapping for the magician who had managed to suitably impress them with his first trick.

Brian took a bow, and then, held out the rabbit for Stewie to take.

The tyke scuttled over quickly, obviously excited to have his pet back. He took Houdini and cradled him affectionately, hand immediately going to pet at the little guy’s head, congratulating him for a job well done.

The boy walked back off to the side, continuing to hold the white rabbit as Brian moved on to his next illusion.

He motioned towards three cards that had been laid out on the table, two red ones and a blue. He, then, picked them up in a stack and held them up for the audience to see, turning so that the backs of the cards were visible as he fanned them out.

“I have here three playing cards.”

He removed the blue one and then placed it back at the bottom of the small stack where the crowd could see its placement.

“Now… Watch carefully.”

The canine then began to move the blue card around in a slow, circular motion. He kept this up for several seconds before, suddenly, the tip of the blue card began to peak out in front of the red card in the middle as if it was phasing right through it.

Murmuring could be heard coming from the audience as they began to discuss what the they were seeing.

Brian continued to slide the card up and down, stopping occasionally as if he was struggling to push the card through. Slowly more and more of the blue card emerged until, the dog finally just let the top card drop and reveal that the blue card was now on top of the red.

Sounds of pure surprise echoed throughout the bar as the crowd began clapping once more.

Brian dropped the two remaining cards and took another bow.

Stewie spoke up as the dog took a few more bows.

“Next, you’re in for a real treat, everybody! This next trick is a crowd favorite!”

Brian grabbed a full deck of cards from the table and began shuffling them as he looked over at his assistant.

“So, Stella, tell me, what’s the first card in a suit?”

* * *

For the remainder of the night, The Amazing Brian continued to dazzle the crowd with spectacles such as forcing a coin through a glass and the ole “pick a card, any card’ routine. It was honestly pretty standard fare, but the charisma of the two stars on stage was more than enough to sell the magic on the audience. By the end of the show, everyone was cheering and having a good time. Some people even made their displeasure known once Stewie announced that they had reached the conclusion of their performance.

Once the show was over; Brian , Stewie, and Houdini made their way off the stage as the man from earlier made his way back on to introduce a band that was going to entertain the patrons for the rest of the night. The magic pair weren’t sticking around, though. They had to get everything packed up and back out to the car, so they could get back home before too late. They had a birthday party scheduled for tomorrow morning, after all.

They just had one matter of business to see to first.

The man was making his way back off the stage as the band passed Brian and Stewie by. He stopped to talk to the duo.

“You guys were great! They loved ya!”

Stewie batted his hand.

“Not surprising in the slightest.”

The man laughed heartily as he reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope.

“I’m definitely going to have to have you two back sometime.”

He held out the envelope for Brian.

“Here ya go. Paid in full.”

The dog took the envelope and thanked the man with a tip of his hat before allowing him to walk away. He pocketed the envelope and turned to talk to Stewie.

“That went really well!”

The baby smiled at him.

“Never doubted you for a minute…”

He giggled a bit before finishing with, “siiiir.” dragging the vowel out in a manner that Brian took to be playful.

The canine chuckled a bit nervously and reached up to scratch behind his neck.

“You, uh… You really enjoy this role, huh?”

Another laugh from Stewie as he smiled warmly at his partner.

“I’m having the time of my life with you, Brian.”

The two met eyes, and Brian could feel the air beginning to shift into something he couldn’t quite describe. He pulled his gaze and motioned towards the table.

“Let’s, uh, get all this stuff in the car. We need to get out of here.”

The infant tilted his head slightly before finally nodding in agreement.

“Yes, of course. Gotta be all ready for tomorrow!”

He walked over to a chair that was currently holding Houdini’s pet carrier. The boy placed the cute bunny inside, offering up some final words of praise before closing it and turning to assist his partner with the packing.

* * *

For the next several weekends, Brian and Stewie’s schedule was completely packed. Word of their act was actually spreading rather quickly, faster than Brian could have ever anticipated. This whole magic thing was really taking off. Of course, that was all due to Stewie, who was constantly helping him come up with new tricks to try out, all while keeping in touch with his various connections, though Brian had to keep forcing himself to ignore what the origins of those connections might be. Why rock the boat when things were working out so well? The gigs were paying well, and making a bit of a living as a performer was something he always enjoyed. Plus, he got to do it all with Stewie, and that just made it all the better. He loved hanging out with that crazy kid.

“Brian! It’s almost time to go on.”

The canine was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by his partner.

_Another night, another club._

He looked over to see the owner of the establishment greeting his customers, giving a little spiel about some sort of discount on shrimp or something. It didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that he was alert and ready to walk onto stage on cue.

The moment came quickly.

“Everybody, give it up for The Amazing Brian and The Fabulous Stella!”

Before Brian had time to blink, Stewie was making his way out in front of the crowd. He had to hurry to catch up. Though, he was still careful not to jostle his table too much as he pushed it along with him.

The infant did his usual thing, blowing kisses to the crowd as he waved and smiled. As per usual, a few guys were obviously ogling his assistant, but he couldn’t really blame them. It wasn’t like they knew they were getting worked up by a kid.

The usual greetings were said before the child went into his opening speech, talking Brian up to high heaven and preparing the crowd for the first trick.

They would probably have to mix it up, at some point, but for now, pulling Houdini out of his hat made for a good opener. Plus, Stewie wanted to make sure that he wasn’t in the handkerchief too long. He really cared about that rabbit.

So, the dog was quick to get through the trick.

He showed the audience his hat, slipped Houdini inside where the crowd couldn’t see, and then presto! Rabbit out of a hat.

The audience applauded, and Brian gave Stewie his bunny to hold for the remainder of the show.

Next trick.

He grabbed a quarter and a small glass from the table and held them out for the audience to see.

Stewie spoke up.

“Watch carefully, everybody.”

From there, Brian proceeded wordlessly, his expression growing serious as he took the coin and placed it in his palm. He then took the glass and, holding it from up top, tapped the bottom against the coin, making a loud clinking sound to demonstrate the coin could not pass through. He did this several times before slightly tilting his paw in a way that allowed the coin to slide down to the tips of his fingers. The audience wasn’t able to see this, though, and they also weren’t able to see, as he went to tap the glass against his palm again, the coin being flung up with his fingers up into his other palm and back down into the glass. It all happened too fast for anyone to catch, and to everyone in the crowd it appeared that the coin had simply passed through the bottom of the glass as the canine immediately held the glass out for everyone to see, swirling the coin around the inside to show that it was, indeed, in there.

A series of _oooooo_ ’s rang out through the crowd before another round of applause.

Brian continued on, still without a word, as he retrieved the coin. He set the glass aside, and leaned down so that his elbow was resting on the table. He then took the coin and began rubbing it against his fur-covered elbow. After a few seconds, the coin slipped from his paw and landed on the table. Brian’s eyes widened. He appeared genuinely surprised as he quickly retrieved the coin with a nervous chuckle.

“Heh. Oops. That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Snickers could be heard coming from the audience as he began rubbing the coin against his elbow again.

“Ok. Let’s try this again.”

He continued rubbing the coin there for several seconds, slowly pulling his fingers away until finally revealing the coin was completely gone.

The crowd gasped, and the dog then held out his palms to show that the coin had seemingly vanished into thin air.

Any snickering that had been going on had completely stopped as everyone in the establishment began applauding once again.

The canine tilted his hat towards the crowd.

“Thank you, everyone. Now, for my next trick…”

He grabbed a cup and a pitcher of water.

* * *

The audience was enraptured by the time Brian and Stewie had reached their big finale. The dog and baby pair had successfully blown the collective minds of the crowd as trick after trick was performed flawlessly. It was probably their best show, yet, making it the perfect setting to try out their most impressive trick to date.

Stewie waved to the crowd.

“You’ve been a wonderful audience, ladies and gentlemen, but we’re not done quite yet! To close out this night of incredible feats, The Amazing Brian and I have one last thing to show you.”

The boy immediately turned to head backstage. He located Houdini’s pet carrier and set him inside before taking a basket that was on a mobile platform and pushing it out onto the stage.

Meanwhile, while this was happening, Brian was grabbing several swords from under the table and placing them on top of it. By the time he was done, there were four swords out in the open, and the crowd was talking excitedly among themselves.

Stewie placed the basket out front and center, locking the wheels of the platform in place before taking his place off to the side.

Brian soon joined him.

In truth, he was kind of nervous about this one. There was some very real danger involved, but rehearsal had gone really well. And, anytime he tried to talk Stewie out of it, he was quickly shot down with responses about how they need to up their game and add a little danger to the act. This was mainly going to be on Stewie, though, and at the end of the day, he did trust the boy more than he didn’t.

_It’ll be alright. Stewie’s got this._

The baby spun around, dress flowing as he addressed the magician.

“Can I get a lift, sir?”

The dog chuckled and grabbed his assistant under the arms.

“Anything for my lovely assistant.”

The crowd _ooooo_ d as the canine lifted Stewie up and placed him inside the small wicker basket.

Stewie grabbed on to the edges so that he could hold himself up for a bit while Brian let him go and leaned down to grab the lid of the basket that had been leaning against it this whole time. Once the dog had the lid, Stewie began to slink down into the basket in manner that could only be viewed as provocative. Brian placed the lid on the basket once Stewie was all the way inside, and then, turned to retrieve his first sword.

Before proceeding, he spoke to the audience.

“Ladies and gentlemen, what you are about to witness is very real and very dangerous. Do not try this at home.”

Several members of the audience leaned forward as the dog positioned his first sword at the top of the basket.

Brian couldn’t help but gulp as he began to slowly push the sword into the basket.

_Be careful in there, kid…_

Everything seemed to be going smoothly enough. The sword went all the way down, passing through the side of the basket as it was plunged all the way to the hilt.

The dog waited for any sign that something might be wrong. When none came, he grabbed his next sword.

The action was repeated this time at a different angle. Brian’s heart was racing as he kept his grip steady, aiming the sword in a straight path down and out of the opposite side of the basket.

He waited again.

No indication that something was amiss.

He grabbed the third sword, this time pushing it down and through the front.

One more to go.

The final sword went down, cutting through the back of the basket as it came to rest.

Still no sign from Stewie.

Brian unlocked the wheels of the platform and slowly spun it around so that the crowd could see the whole circumference of the basket and how his swords were now occupying every side of it. He stopped the basket in the same position it had been in and, then, relocked the wheels.

Now, he just had to remove the swords.

One by one, each sword was slowly pulled out and placed back on the table.

The canine took a breath.

_Moment of truth._

He removed the lid and set it down before clearing his dry throat.

“Come on out, St-Stella!”

For a minute, nothing happened, and Brian felt his heart drop as he began to worry.

His worries were quickly alleviated, though, as were those of the audience apparently as several sighs of relief could be heard as Stewie emerged from the basket unscathed, taking a seat on the edge and throwing his hands into the air as he shouted, “Ta-da!”

The whole room erupted into applause, and Brian found that he had to join in, as well, as he found himself both impressed by Stewie’s performance and simply happy to know that he was ok.

* * *

Another night, another successful show.

The response from the crowd tonight had been the most positive Brian had seen to date, and he was reveling in the satisfaction of that as he finished up putting the stuff in his car.

He closed the back and locked it. His eyes went down to meet Stewie who was currently standing there holding Houdini in his pet carrier.

“I guess it’s time for us to head out.”

Stewie nodded. He turned to walk towards the passenger side of the car, but before they got in, the pair were suddenly stopped by the sound of the owner calling after them.

“Hey, Brian! Stella! Hold up! I got somebody in here who would like to meet you!”

The two of them walked back behind the car, giving each other curious looks before turning to respond to the owner.

Brian spoke first.

“Meet us?”

Then Stewie.

“Who?”

The man waved for them to follow him.

The pair shrugged and began following the owner back into the building as he explained the situation.

“You guys may have just made a big break. There was a talent scout in the audience tonight, and your show really impressed him.”

Stewie’s eyes lit up as he clutched Houdini’s pet carrier to his chest.

“Really!?”

The man seemingly ignored the boy, continuing to speak as the three of them re-entered his establishment.

“He came and found me not long after you guys had left the building. I told him you were probably gone, but he insisted that I go make sure. It really is your lucky day. You must have really wowed the guy. Could be big things in your future.”

Nothing more was said as the owner led them up to a table with one person sitting at it.

He was a pretty average looking fellow, dressed in a fairly nice looking button up with black hair slicked back. He greeted the pair with a friendly smile.

“Awesome! Good ole Ronald here was able to catch ya before you skedaddled! Wonderful!”

He motioned towards two empty chairs positioned across from him.

“Please have a seat. Take a load off. I’m sure you two are tired after such a compelling performance. Are you hungry? You can have whatever you like.”

Brian answered for them as the two of them sat down.

“I think we’re fine, for now.”

Stewie cut in as he set the pet carrier on the table.

“So, you enjoyed our show?”

The talent scout didn’t respond to the infant right away. Instead, he turned towards Ronald.

“I’ll take it from here, Ron.”

The owner nodded and walked away.

The talent scout then refocused his attention on Brian and Stewie, leaning forward on the table and folding his hands together as he began speaking.

“I didn’t just enjoy your show, ma’am. I absolutely loved it!”

The dog and baby pair both smiled.

The talent scout went on.

“You know, magic isn’t as big as it used to be. Not too long ago you had acts touring all over the country, and let me tell you two, I’ve seen plenty of them. So, I like to think that it’s pretty hard to impress me, but you two? Oh, man. You got something really special here.”

He leaned back.

“I’m gonna level with ya. The actual tricks in your show, they’re pretty routine. A good trick is a good trick, don’t get me wrong, but that isn’t what is selling up there. No, what you two bring to the table is exactly that, you two.”

He pointed at them, then, one finger per hand.

“You guys give off some really good vibes for your audience, and watching you work together… I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like you’re the perfect pair. Now, I’m not saying you’re some kind of Penn and Teller or anything, but there is definitely something unique that I think you guys can bring to the table. And, let me tell you, the magic world needs something new to freshen things up.”

The man took a sip of some water that had been sitting on the table.

Stewie took this opportunity to finally get a word in.

“So, what are you proposing, sir?”

He swallowed before responding.

“I’m proposing that you two go on tour.”

He waved his hand through the air.

“Nationwide, baby!”

Brian’s eyes widened.

“A nationwide tour?”

Stewie squealed and shook his fists excitedly.

“Ahhhhh! We’re going to be stars!”

Brian felt his mouth go a little dry.

This was incredible.

This was wonderful!

This was...happening so fast...

“Wait a minute. How soon is this supposed to happen?”

The talent scout tapped his chin thoughtfully.

“Well, I’d have to organize the whole thing, but I think I could get you two on the road in about a month. You’re new, so we wouldn’t have to do much advertising outside of the places you’ll be. This first tour is about showing the country what you got. With any luck, you’ll have a pretty nice following by the time it’s over. Then, we can really go big!”

Stewie squealed again and looked inside the pet carrier at Houdini.

“You hear that, little buddy!? You’re going to be famous!”

The man chuckled.

“That your rabbit? Houdini, right? Pretty sure that’s the name I heard up there.”

Stewie nodded his head rapidly.

“Yep! The cutest little bunny ever!”

The man laughed again.

“Well, let’s see the little guy! Looks like he’s a part of this, too.”

Stewie didn’t need to be told twice.

While the kid was grabbing his pet, the talent scout turned to talk to Brian.

“Name’s Slade, by the way. Probably should have opened with that, but I wanted to cut right to chase with you. I think we’re about to embark on something special together.”

Stewie proudly held up his pet, recapturing Slade’s attention.

“Here he is!”

He smiled at the bunny.

“Look at you! You’re a small one. Really cute, though.”

After admiring the pair's pet for a few seconds longer, he clapped his hands together.

“So, I take all this enthusiasm to mean you two are in?”

“Ye-”

Stewie stopped mid-word, smile faltering slightly as he turned to look at his partner.

“We are in...right?”

Brian wasn’t completely sure about this, but that hopeful glint in the infant’s eyes was simply irresistible. He sighed reluctantly before smiling slightly and slowly nodding his head.

“Yeah.”

He looked at Slade confidently.

“We’re in.”

The man clapped his hands together again.

“Excellent! I guess we should celebrate. Surely you’ll stay for a drink. I mean, this is probably a pretty huge occasion for you.”

Stewie nodded.

“I would _love_ a drink.”

Slade stood up from his seat.

“Champagne for the table, then.”

He went to walk away but stopped after one step. He turned back towards the pair and snapped his fingers.

“Shoot. I almost forgot. I guess I should get this cleared up before I make any more assumptions, but I just assumed due to the way you clicked on stage...”

He pointed at both of them again.

“You guys are a couple, right?”

Brian went to answer, but he was quickly cut off by Stewie’s excited cry of, “We sure are!”


	2. The Turn

The car was silent. Houdini was in the back asleep in the carrier as Brian sat unmoving in the driver’s seat, eyes focused directly in front, expression stoic and unreadable. Stewie was in the passenger side seat staring out the window, growing more and more uncomfortable as the silence wore on.

_“We sure are!”_

A smirk appeared on the infant’s lips. He couldn’t help it. The look of Brian’s jaw just dropping was embedded into his brain.

Hilarious.

Adorable.

Honestly, the confirmation to Slade’s suspicion that he and Brian were an item had come out as more of an impulse than anything. So many things had just clicked so perfectly into place in that moment. How could he have said anything else? Brian may have been shocked and rendered practically speechless the rest of the night as Stewie and Slade spent a nice evening drinking champagne and getting to know each other, but the gears in Stewie’s head were whirring like crazy.

Of course they were a couple. How could they be anything else?

Still, the boy had at least expected Brian to return to some sort of normalcy once they had left. The dog had said absolutely nothing, though, and frankly, Stewie had about had enough of it. Finally, the baby sighed and turned to address his partner.

“So, I take it that you’re just going to be a mute the rest of the night, then?”

Brian blinked and then shook his head as if he was waking from some sort of trance. He’d obviously been deep in thought...or deep in lack of thought. It was one or the other, but Stewie didn’t really care which. He was just focusing on the dog’s response as he offered the infant a quick glance.

“Why did you say that, Stewie?”

Ah. Excellent. Gonna cut right to the chase, then. This was much more preferable to the alternative of the canine simply denying anything had happened, an all too likely outcome most of the time.

Stewie just shrugged.

“Made the most sense in the moment.”

That’s all he would say, for now. If the rude canine wanted a better explanation, he was going to have to actually try for it. All for the best. He couldn’t make it too easy for Brian. That mutt was always eager to take the easy way out. Why enable the habit?

Brian hummed thoughtfully as he turned off of the main stretch, bringing them closer to home.

“Explain.”

Stewie quirked his eyebrow. No protest? No rebukes for lying to their new agent? It was odd, but Stewie wasn’t going to question Brian’s behavior too much, not right now...maybe later. He shrugged.

“Well, you heard the man, right? It’s not exactly the tricks that make people enjoy watching us. It’s...well…”

He smiled.

“It’s us, Brian. And, well, if people enjoy that and assume that we’re…”

The infant chuckled a bit, fighting to suppress the heat that wanted to infuse his cheeks.

“...A couple… Why break that illusion? If that adds a little charm to our performance… Well, I say that we run with it! Right!?”

Brian’s eyes remained focused on the road, but Stewie could see a thoughtfulness in them as the boy made his case. Eventually, the dog simply nodded his head.

“I...guess...that makes enough sense…”

Stewie was honestly a little shocked at the response. His eyes widened slightly.

“Y-Yeah…?”

The child’s heart sped up a little but quickly slowed upon hearing the canine sigh.

“Y-Yeah… It...makes sense, but…”

The car stopped suddenly, surprising Stewie. He looked around and realized that they were home. He’d completely lost track of where they were during these last several minutes.

“...So, what, now? ...You...and me...on tour...pretending to be…”

There was a hesitation allowing Stewie to quickly jump in before the words could linger in the air too long.

“Boyfriend and girlfriend, yes.”

Brian killed the engine then before turning to look at Stewie seriously...and maybe a little quizzically, as if he were trying to figure something out. A silence hung there in the car, and Stewie had to fight not to squirm under the animal’s penetrating gaze. After much too long, Brian finally spoke again.

“There has to be a limit, Stewie.”

He smiled and then laughed a bit, alleviating some of the tension Stewie was feeling, but only serving to confuse the baby all the more. The child blinked up at his partner.

“A...limit…?”

Brian nodded his head again.

“Yes, a limit. There has to be a limit to what I can allow you to talk me into. I can’t let you keep getting your way.”

He sighed again, though the smile remained on his face.

Still, Stewie didn’t know how to take this, so he quickly jumped in.

“Well, it’s not like we’ve never done anything like that before. We’ve played the couple’s role plenty of times, and you have to admit that we have something good going on here. Why not just give the people what they want?”

He paused briefly before quickly adding one last thought.

“It will only be an act, after all. You can’t really perform magic. How’s that all too different to us...not being together...really? The only real difference is that people will actually believe the latter, I guess…”

Brian turned to unbuckle his seatbelt as he responded.

“That’s a pretty big difference, Stewie.”

The child frowned, irritation beginning to set in.

“Well, I think we should go for it.”

He folded his arms, making it clear that he was not planning to exit the vehicle until the matter was settled.

Brian’s smile fell slightly, obviously not expecting the reaction he had earned. His eyes met Stewie’s once more, and the pair exchanged gazes.

Stewie’s stubborn, unrelenting.

Brian’s shocked, unsure.

Finally, the canine just shrugged.

“Fine. We already said we would go on tour, and our agent believes that you and I are together, anyway… Don’t really have much of a choice, now, do we.”

A curt nod was followed by a simple response.

“I’d say we don’t.”

He smirked at the dog.

“Shouldn’t be a problem, though. We have amazing chemistry. Remember?”

It was Brian’s turn to glare briefly. Soon after, though, he moved to grab Houdini’s carrier before exiting the vehicle.

“So I keep hearing.”

The child chuckled as he followed suit, stepping out of the car, as well. The pair met up on Stewie’s side and began walking through the grass towards the front door.

“Oh, don’t seem too excited, Brian. I’m liable to start believing you really are into me if you keep that up.”

The canine rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything in retort as he opened the door for his young friend and ushered him inside, setting the carrier off to the side as he followed after the infant. The living room was pitch black, the rest of the family having obviously retired to their respective rooms long ago at this late hour. Stewie began making his way towards the stairs but stopped just before reaching them. He turned back towards the dog who was still standing by the door.

“Just so you know, act or no act, you better treat me well, or I will break up with you. I have standards, you know.”

Brian scoffed at the notion, but a small smile did appear on his lips as he began shedding his magician’s outfit and tossing the articles onto the couch.

“Oh, what a tragedy that would be.”

Stewie feigned offense as he took a careful step back onto the first step.

“Well! It most certainly would be, sir! Do you have any idea how many guys would KILL to get with The Fabulous Stella?”

The infant then struck a pose, one hand going to rest on his hip as he tossed the other into the air, topping it all off with a welcoming and saucy smile.

The dog laughed dryly.

“I prefer not to think about it.”

He remained standing there smiling at Stewie for a moment more before walking over and taking a seat on the couch. He reached over for the remote and switched on the television. Stewie watched on as the animal began channel surfing, his pose finally faltering as he frowned.

“So...you’re not coming up, then?”

The canine shook his head.

“Not right now. I just need to relax a bit, been a long night.”

He looked back over towards Stewie.

“You should go get changed, but...you could come back down and stay up a bit longer with me, if you want after.”

Stewie took a moment to consider the tempting offer. It wasn’t until a yawn escaped him that he was able to make his decision.

“M-Maybe some other time. I wasn’t really planning on staying up. Got a big day tomorrow.”

Brian’s eyebrow rose.

“Big day? Our schedule is clear tomorrow.”

The baby smiled and then turned around to begin ascending the steps as he replied.

“We’re going on tour, Bry. Gonna have to teach you some new tricks before we hit the road.”

The infant paused and peered through the banister at the dog who was still watching him, face only illuminated by the television screen in the pitch dark. He leaned over and grabbed the railing.

“So, you probably shouldn’t be up for too much longer either, buuuuut if I don’t see you again tonight…”

The toddler’s heart jumped a bit as he committed to his next action, raising his palm up to blow the animal a kiss before waving at him daintily.

“Goodnight, my dear.”

He fought to suppress a giggle before quickly turning and rushing his way back up the stairs, but just before he reached the top, he was able to make out the dog’s quiet reply.

“Goodnight, honey.”

* * *

“Alright, Bry, pick a card!”

Brian and Stewie were out in the backyard. It was still fairly early, but Stewie had insisted they get out there first thing. Brian had actually fallen asleep on the couch the previous night, and he had awoken to the sight of Stewie hovering over him, calling his name.

_“Come on now, Brian. Time for a little practice. Throw on your outfit, too, while you’re at it. I’m trying out a new look, and you wouldn’t want to look too drab in comparison.”_

The dog had been too groggy to argue, at the time, but after grabbing some coffee and getting up and around, it hadn’t been too much of a chore coming out here to practice or rehearse or do whatever it was he was doing with Stewie. It was nice and sunny out, and there was a faint breeze on the wind that kept the temperature at a perfectly comfortable level. The two of them were sitting on a blanket out on the lawn. Stewie was holding a fanned out deck of cards, waiting for Brian to pick one, which was odd because Brian had thought the idea was for him to practice these tricks. Maybe Stewie wanted to get in some practice of his own? Did the kid intend to start performing tricks, as well? Who knew. Frankly, Brian didn’t really care all that much since he was a little preoccupied looking down at the boy and...taking in the sight of the child in his new outfit.

It was...concerning. As if he wasn’t concerned enough about how tantalizing Stewie seemed to be on stage. He could already hear the crowd whooping and hollering at the young boy when the time came for him to make his big debut in...that. Not that anyone in the crowd knew exactly what they were getting so worked up over, but still…

The canine shook his head, trying to focus, tongue sticking out as he began waving his wand over the cards.

Stewie looked fantastic. He’d never say it out loud, but even he couldn’t deny how effortlessly the baby was able to pull off such a feminine look. He’d apparently decided that he looked better as a blonde as that was the color of the new wig he was wearing. He also had on a really nice form-fitting white dress that was cut a little lower than his previous red one. The shoes were white, as well, and…

“Brian?”

Heat rushed into Brian’s cheeks as he realized he’d become lost in thought while looking Stewie over. He was still casually waving his wand over the cards, and he honestly had no idea how long he had been sitting like that while repeating the same motion over and over.

Stewie smiled at him and giggled.

“Any day now would be nice.”

The canine immediately tapped the nearest card before reaching over to grab it, bringing an end to the slightly awkward moment. He took a look at the card, a four of spades, and then handed it back to his assistant who proceeded to shuffle it back into the deck. One expert shuffle later, the boy pulled the top card from the deck and revealed it with a flourish.

“Isssssss this your card, my good sir?”

It was. Brian wasn’t surprised. He simply nodded and offered up a small smile.

“Tell me why you aren’t the one doing these tricks again?”

The child chuckled and set down the deck of cards.

“Nobody said I couldn’t be.”

He winked.

“Soooooo, you’re telling me that you’d rather be the lovely assistant, then? I mean, I’ve seen you in a dress, Bry, and well… I’m just saying… We might want to leave that to me. Trying to bring in an audience not scare them away, you know.”

The canine scoffed, smile never leaving his face.

“Nobody said the lovely assistant couldn’t perform a trick or two, either.”

At this, Stewie tilted his head slightly, considering what his partner had just said.

“Hmmmm… No...I suppose not.”

He sat there for a second, finger going up to tap at his chin a few times before finally shrugging.

“Well, we can discuss that some more later. For now, though…”

The boy reached over and picked up his phone which had been laying on the blanket.

“I went and looked up a few new fairly simple tricks that we can start working on. We’ll work our way up to some of the more complex stuff.”

Brian nodded.

“Ok, then. What ya got for me?”

The child began tapping at his phone but was stopped when it suddenly started vibrating, creating a very audible buzzing sound.

“Oh! Who could that be?”

Stewie looked at the number that was trying to get through to him, and he was surprised to see that it was an unfamiliar number.

“Hmmmm…?”

He answered the phone, leaving Brian to sit there and wait. The dog leaned back slightly, using his paws for support as he perked up his ears.

“Hello?”

The dog was able to make out the faint sound of a male voice.

He gripped the blanket as Stewie’s eyes suddenly went wide. The infant cleared his throat and began speaking at a higher pitch.

“Oh, hi! I wasn’t expecting to hear back from you so soon. I hadn’t even gotten around to putting your number in my phone.”

Stewie giggled effeminately before continuing.

“I had intended to, but me and my Bry Bear were just so tuckered out. My brain was just goooooone.”

He laughed again, and Brian was able to make out laughter on the other end of the line, as well.

_Wait… Bry Bear? Me?_

It dawned on him then who Stewie must be talking to.

_Slade?_

“Well, I appreciate you wanting to keep in touch. Would be a shame to never hear from you again after you got my and Brian’s hopes up last night.”

The boy looked up and smiled at the dog.

“Yes, we are oh so excited! We always like to travel. Always like to get away with my guy.”

He leaned over and patted the canine’s knee.

“Well, I’m not surprised to hear that. I have to imagine it takes quite a lot of work to organize something of that nature.”

His hand began rubbing the dog’s leg, causing Brian to flinch slightly as he continued trying to listen in.

“Well, again, I appreciate you wanting to check in. Just let me know what you need from us! And you weren’t a bother at all, my dear, but I am going to have to let you go as I was in the middle of something with The Amazing Brian here.”

Brian watched as Stewie’s mouth fell open at whatever Slade said next. The infant quickly turned his gaze away, but the dog was still able to make out a slight redness in the boy’s cheeks that was...concerning.

“Oh, ho ho...you’re a funny one. Ok, gonna go now, and I’ll be sure to add you to my contacts as soon as I hang up. Ok. Thanks again. Bye!”

The infant cleared his throat again and began tapping at his phone, paying no mind to the dog who was still sitting beside him.

Brian eyed the boy suspiciously.

“Slade, huh?”

There was a moments silence as Stewie finished whatever he was doing with his phone before lowering it from his face and turning back to look at Brian.

“Yes. That was him. He just wanted to see if we were still set on the tour, said that it would take him a month or two to get all the details worked out, but he wants to get us on the road as soon as possible. I guess we’ll just continue doing what we’re already doing until then.”

He smiled at the canine, and then looked back at his phone.

“We should still practice these tricks, though. Now...I know I had a few pages bookmarked here…”

Brian continued to watch Stewie carefully. He was still focused on that phone call and whatever it was that Slade must have said. It made him...uncomfortable...to say the least, and as much as he wanted to move on, he found that he couldn’t. So, he decided to press for more information.

“And that was all he said?”

Stewie once again looked up from his phone.

“Hmmm?”

The dog shrugged.

“I was just wondering if that was actually all he said.”

A mirthless chuckle passed from his lips as he began speaking sternly.

“Because I may just be bad at reading the situation, but the way you reacted at the end of that phone call makes me think there was something else that you’re trying to hide.”

The boy frowned.

“Hide? What? I’m not trying to hide anything, Brian. He made a joke. Ok? I didn’t figure it was all that important in the grand scheme of things.

The canine folded his arms over his chest.

“What was the joke?”

Stewie groaned.

“Are you being serious, right now? What does it matter?”

The dog didn’t budge, though. He remained sitting there, arms folded as he stared Stewie down.

“What was the joke, Stewie?”

The child sighed and shook his head.

“It’s really not that big a deal… He just sort of...insinuated that we were...doing stuff...together. Not the most tactful thing in the world I know, but…”

The boy’s frown shifted into a slight grimace as he directed his eyes downward.

“Look, if we go around saying we’re together...people are going to assume…”

Suddenly Brian stood up and began walking towards the house. Stewie’s head shot up in surprise. He called after the dog.

“And just where do you think you’re going!?”

Brian didn’t even bother turning around as he replied.

“I can’t do this right now. I need to...need to think about just what I’m getting myself into here…”

Stewie went to protest but quickly found that he couldn’t find the words. All he could do was sit there with a disappointed look on his face as the canine marched his way inside, leaving him out on the lawn alone.

* * *

Stewie was lying in his crib staring up at the ceiling. He was thinking about Brian. He was always thinking about Brian. He scoffed at himself.

_What even makes him worth expending the energy?_

It was an attempt to distract himself that he quickly realized was a failure as his mind eventually wandered back to the issue at hand.

Today had been...awkward...uncomfortable…

It had started well enough, sure, but after Brian had left him that morning, the child had basically heard nothing else from his partner for the remainder of the day. Sure, Brian had been around, but he sure hadn’t made any effort to strike up conversation and Stewie wasn’t really sure how to respond to this. Had Slade’s insinuation really made Brian that uncomfortable?

_If so, that’s...not good…right?_

The infant sighed and was about to roll over onto his side to try and get to sleep. He stopped, though, when he suddenly heard his door opening. He didn’t even have to turn around to know who was now entering his room. All but one family member was asleep by now.

“Brian?”

The sound of the door closing was heard, quickly followed by soft, slow footsteps.

“H-Hey… You weren’t asleep, were you?”

The boy rolled back over so that he was facing the canine who was slowly approaching his crib.

“No. Everything ok? Wasn’t really expecting to see you again tonight. You sleeping in here?”

Brian stopped, the darkness of the room obscuring his expression and making it impossible for Stewie to tell what the animal was thinking. After a few seconds, Brian responded.

“I...guess… Is that ok?”

The boy smiled and nodded his head.

“You know you’re always welcome in here.”

The dog began walking toward him again, and eventually, Stewie was able to make out the faintest smile on that adorable muzzle. It was cute. Stewie had to suppress a giggle as he spoke again.

“I think someone was missing me.”

Brian was right outside the bars now, head tilted in contemplation.

“Missing you? I’ve been home all day.”

Stewie’s smile fell slightly as he began scooting back, hoping that Brian was actually going to climb in and join him instead of just sleeping on the floor like he usually did.

“We haven’t really talked at all since this morning.”

It was Brian’s turn to lose a smile. His head dropped as he reached up and grabbed the bars of the crib.

“I told you… I had to think about some things…”

Stewie moved his blanket out of the way, hoping Brian would take the hint.

“Hmmmm. You did.”

He sighed under his breath.

“Kind of silly, though, don’t you think? All this drama over a stupid joke our ignorant agent made?”

Brian’s head remained hanging as he replied.

“That’s what people are going to assume, though, if we… I just don’t know how to feel about that, Stewie. It’s...different from what we usually do. We’d be committing to a longtime act here…”

Stewie didn’t respond immediately, instead he simply stared at the animal for a while as he considered Brian’s point. Because Brian did have a point, no matter how dumb it really was. The infant was incredibly excited at the prospect of going on the road with his best friend, but would it really be worth it if the dog was just miserable and uncomfortable the whole time? How depressing would that be?

The baby shook his head and finally diverted his gaze, deciding that all he could really do was to try and make a case for why Brian was being so silly, and if that didn’t work…

_Well, I guess it was fun while it lasted._

“Look, Brian. In all seriousness, the point of this whole thing was for us to, you know, have fun, and well...I’ve been having the time of my life going up on stage and performing with you.”

Stewie paused briefly as he watched the canine finally raise his head up to look at him.

“I...I’ve been having fun with you, too.”

The boy’s lips upturned as he took this as his cue to continue.

“Well, then think about just how great of an opportunity this really is! You love doing this with me. We’re good at it, and we have a chance to make the most it.”

The child sat up, his smile growing wider as the confidence in his own words grew.

“Also. Also. You have a real chance to capture some real fame! If. If you do this, you just might finally leave a real, positive mark on the cultural zeitgeist. How great would that be, Brian!”

The canine smiled, a quiet chuckle passing between his lips.

“Kind of dreaming big there, aren’t we?”

The baby simply batted his hand and leaned in towards the dog.

“Go big or go home, right?”

Eye contact was made and held for several seconds before Brian finally nodded.

“We’re...really going to do this…”

_Victory!_

“Yes. Yes, we are. In just a few months, the names Brian and Stella will be recognized all across the country.”

The child could feel his heart beginning to beat rapidly as his own words took a tight hold of him. They were lofty expectations, but he knew now more than before that he wanted that.

He wanted that for them so badly.

“Ok.”

The infant blinked as that single word prevented him for zoning out into his own fantasies.

“I’m in. All in. Let’s see where this goes.”

Excitement swelled in the boy’s gut.

“Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!”

He could feel his breath quickening, so he took a moment to try and calm himself down. Hearing Brian commit to this venture with such finality… It was all finally hitting him for the first time just how magical this all really was.

He was going on the road to perform. With Brian. It was a dream come true.

The dog let go of the bars and lowered himself to the floor to take his spot there for the night.

Stewie moved to lie down, as well, but stopped himself as he considered speaking up once again. Brian had obviously not gotten the hint that he was wanted in the crib, but maybe he’d climb in if a more blatant request were made? Was it worth finding out? The boy didn’t want to make the poor thing feel strange all over again. That certainly wouldn’t do…

The bed felt entirely too empty, though...so after some brief deliberation, the baby gulped before calling out to the dog.

“You know...it’s more comfortable up here…”

There was a beat of complete silence that had the boy worrying like crazy, but it was quickly put to an end when he could hear the canine rustling against the floor off to the side. A moment later, Brian’s head rose up to greet him.

“You want me to sleep with you?”

His cheeks went red, then. He could feel it. All he could do was hope that it was too dark for Brian to see.

“S-Sure. If you want.”

To his surprise, that was all that needed to be said. The dog didn’t hesitate at all before standing up and climbing his way into the crib, taking his place in the spot that Stewie had so graciously laid out for him, like it was the most natural thing in the world. The canine fidgeted for a moment, but as soon as he got comfy, his eyelids closed as he settled in for a good night’s rest.

Stewie remained sitting there, smiling at the peaceful expression on his friend’s face before finally laying back down. He sighed happily and moved to scoot himself in closer to the animal.

“Goodnight, Amazing Brian.”

A contented sigh emitted from the animal as he smiled.

“Goodnight, Fabulous Stella.”

* * *

“Alriiiiiiight! Appreciate you two coming in on such short notice. I’ve about got this whole tour set up, just need to go over a few things with ya.”

Stewie and Brian were in Slade’s office, funny enough for the first time. Over the past few weeks, their enthusiastic agent had done a good job of keeping in contact, never going more than three days without a phone call. It really made them both confident that this man was taking the whole thing pretty seriously. Still, even with all that talking, the pair really hadn’t had much to do with actually organizing the tour. They had just continued on with business as usual in the meantime, performing at all the local venues about every other night or so, refining their act more and more with each performance. Their local reputation was especially impressive, at this point.

...Of course, with that minor fame came the eventual realization from the rest of the family that Brian was out making it as a successful magician. Lois had noticed one of their posters up in the grocery store, and the woman had had more than her fair share of questions.

_“How long has this been going on, Brian?”_

_“What? So, you’re actually good?”_

_“Who’s your little female friend there?”_

This had all culminated in one of the most stressful dinners of his life when Lois had insisted on having Stella over. Brian had known that he needed to keep to his story, so this all resulted in him having a double dinner date as Peter and Lois hosted him and their disguised infant son. It had been torture, in the moment, but things had actually gone surprisingly well. Lois and _Stella_ actually hit it off quite nicely, a fact that both he and Stewie couldn’t help but have a good chuckle over once it was all said and done.

If anything, Brian now felt like he had one less thing to hide from everyone. They all knew he was going on tour soon, and he knew Stewie would be able to handle covering for himself no matter how long they were away. Everything was working out splendidly.

“Ok, so I know you two are used to your small little shows in all these nothing venues around here, but you can put that all in the past! Your boy Slade here has managed to get you scheduled at some of the hottest venues in the country. It’s make it or break it time, people! No more small town stuff. We’re heading for the big time! And, to make sure that you’re able to make the transition smoothly, I’ve hired you your own team of helpers who will be setting up and breaking down your stage every night. You will also have a free night here and there to rehearse, but I have no doubt that you’ll get a feel for the bigger crowd in no time. You guys were made for it, I can tell. I get paid for this, you know.”

The man directed a thumb toward himself as he smiled assuredly. The pair across from him nodded in unison. Stewie was the first to speak.

“I think that all sounds good to us. Just get us on that bus, and send us off to…”

There was a pause as the infant chuckled to himself.

“Well, wherever it is we’re going. I guess you haven’t told us that yet.”

Slade clapped his hands together and made direct eye contact with the disguised child.

“First stop will be Chicago. From there we’ll be heading further west before eventually making a  big lap around the country. It all ends with one last big show in no other than…”

He held out his arms, prompting his clients to take a guess.

Both Brian and Stewie were taken a bit off guard, muttering to themselves before finally guessing simultaneously.

“New York City?”

“Los Angeles?”

Slade shook his head, his smile growing.

“Nope. Good guesses, though. We actually will be hitting those cities, but no, this grand tour will be concluding in good ole Las Vegas, Nevada!”

Stewie immediately responded with a high pitched squeal.

“Ahhhhhh! I love it! You know, me and my Bry Bear took a trip there once…”

The baby stopped mid-sentence for a moment before continuing, his voice trailing off as he became lost in thought

“Though...it was kind of a disaster…”

Brian frowned, shrugging as he turned to address his partner.

“Well, it had its moments. Wasn’t all bad.”

Stewie scoffed as he rolled his eyes at the canine.

“So, I’ve heard…”

Slade’s eyes began shifting back and forth between the two.

“Is there, uhhh… Is there something I should know about Vegas? This isn’t going to be a problem is it? Can’t really go making changes to the schedule, now.”

Stewie turned his attention back towards the agent.

“No… It’s fine. All in the past. We’ve just...had our fair share of misadventures.”

He sighed before offering up a smile.

“No reason anything should go wrong this time, though, right?”

Slade made serious eye contact and smiled back at the boy.

“Of course not, dear. You’re in good hands with me.”

He smirked.

“I know I don’t look a day over thirty, but I’ve been doing this for years and years and years, probably actually have about thirty years of experience by now. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

He leaned forward towards Stewie, elbows coming to rest on the table.

“Leave it all to me. All you need to do is exactly what you’ve been doing for the past few months, charming the audience and looking goddamn gorgeous.”

Stewie’s eyes went a little wide as heat rushed into his cheeks at the sudden compliment. He giggled and averted his gaze before clearing his throat.

“Well...I can certainly...do that.”

The man snapped his fingers.

“Never doubted ya.”

He turned to Brian who had been watching the previous exchange curiously, his lips downturned the slightest bit.

“And you just need to keep up the solid performances. I hope you’ve been practicing some new tricks. You’re gonna need ‘em, buddy.”

The canine went to respond, but his partner cut in.

“You don’t have to worry about him. He’s amazing. Gets better and better at this every day. I practice with him all the time, and let me tell you, this dog has really come into his own. I’m so proud of him!”

The infant looked over at Brian, a huge grin on his face.

The dog smiled back and reached up to scratch at the back of his neck, slightly overwhelmed by the sudden praise.

“Heh. I try...dear.”

The boy nodded and reached over to take the canine’s paw into his hand.

“You succeed, baby.”

Brian squeezed the hand, eyes going to meet Stewie’s before the voice of Slade diverted his attention.

“You two are adorable. So! We still have a lot to talk about. We’re going to need to go over exactly what tricks you will be performing, at least during the first several shows. As you get more comfortable on the road, I expect you’ll want to improvise in order to shake things up, but for now, probably better off to stick the script, so to speak.”

The man opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a notebook before grabbing a pen and opening it up.

“Ok! What did you two have in mind?”

* * *

Brian tossed the final bag into the back of his Prius and slammed the door closed. Today was the day. Weeks of preparation had led up to this moment as Brian finished packing the car. In just a little while, he and Stewie would be on their way to Chicago to perform their first major magic show, and even after all the planning and discussion, he could still barely believe it.

“Lois, you really are being a dear, but you know just as well as I do that me and Brian need to hurry up and get going. You can just put him back into the carrier. I’ll take it from there.”

Brian turned around to see his partner, Stella, standing next to Lois near the front of the house. He chuckled. It was so weird seeing Stewie and Lois being so...civil. Of course, Brian knew that Stewie was really just getting a perverse glee out of tricking his mother so completely. He had actually made a couple of visits to the house as Stella since that first dinner, and now, Lois must figure that the two were actually friends or something. So odd. Brian wasn’t sure if the woman would have been out here to see them off otherwise. The kids were at school, and Peter was at work so that really only left her at home. How much would she have honestly cared otherwise, though?

The dog shrugged at the thought, smiling as he watched Stewie eye his mother suspiciously while she placed Houdini back into the carrier. The grin returned to his face once he could see his precious pet was secure.

The infant closed the carrier and began making his way over to Brian.

“We all set, babe?”

_Always so perfectly in character._

The canine nodded his head.

“Uh huh. That’s all the bags. All we have to do now is load up Houdini, and we can go meet Slade.”

Stewie chuckled as he approached the dog, offering up the carrier as he began bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet.

“Oh my god! I’m just so excited! This is going to be great!”

The animal snickered, amused by the exuberant display of enthusiasm. He took the carrier and opened the passenger side door before climbing in and carefully setting Houdini on the backseat.

“You’ll have to let me know how it goes, you two! Post lots of pictures on Facebook! Did you ever send me that friend request, Stella?”

The baby turned to address his mother who had obviously followed after him.

“Oh, my word! I’m so sorry, Lois! But I’ve just been so busy, you know. I completely went and forgot.”

A faux frown fell over his face as he shook his head.

“Some friend I am.”

The woman’s eyes lit up at the word even as the tone of her voice demonstrated obvious disappointment.

“Oh… No, that’s okay. I understand that you and Brian have been pretty occupied. What’s Facebook business in comparison to becoming superstars, right!?”

She laughed awkwardly just as Brian emerged from the vehicle.

“All set.”

Stewie clapped his hands a few times, completely ignoring his mother’s last comment.

“Alright! Let’s do this thing!”

He rushed into the passenger’s seat, and Brian, following habit, went to buckle the baby in.

A snicker could be heard coming from Lois.

“Man, she’s got you trained pretty well, huh?”

Brian’s body went stiff briefly. He looked up and watched as Stewie replied with a cocky smirk.

“Wrapped around my little finger.”

The boy then began petting the top of the canine’s head before drifting over to stroke a soft ear delicately. Brian had to fight to suppress the animalistic groan that wanted to escape him in that moment.

“Then again...it’s pretty easy to train a dog.”

The child laughed at his own joke, leaning over to plant a kiss on Brian’s snout before waving him away.

“Come on now, boy. Off we go.”

It took Brian a moment to recover from the awkward...intimate moment. He shut the door and quickly made his way over to the driver’s side. He started the engine and buckled his seatbelt as Stewie lowered the window to bid one last farewell to his ”friend”.

“Goodbye, Lois. See you in six months.”

Lois went to say goodbye as well, but Stewie didn’t wait to hear her before he began raising the window. He looked over at the canine and spoke plainly discarding his disguised voice.

“Oh my god. Drive please.”

The dog laughed, all tension from earlier leaving him as he backed out of the driveway and took off down the road.

Once they were well and on their way, Stewie reclined in his seat and sighed happily.

“I know me playing Stella is an act and all, but I just want you to know that all that excitement was one-hundred percent genuine. I am so psyched for this, Brian.”

The dog relaxed and leaned back, as well, keeping one hand on the steering wheel as he navigated traffic.

“I...sorta figured.”

He laughed.

“Though, it’s sometimes hard to tell where Stella ends and you begin. I guess that’s understandable, in a way. You’ve basically been living a double life for a while, now.”

Stewie hummed thoughtfully.

“I honestly haven’t even thought about it. This has been the most fun I’ve had in ages, and besides, I’m always down for a little roleplay.”

The dog’s eyebrow raised at the interesting word choice, but he decided to ignore it as the car soon fell into a comfortable silence for the remainder of the trip. The location for the meet up wasn’t all that far away, anyway, so it wasn’t long before Brian was parking in a secure garage that Slade had arranged for his Prius to stay in while they were gone.

Always the professional, the man was already there, standing outside and leaning against his car with his arms folded while wearing a sharp looking white blazer. He stood up straight upon seeing the Prius pulling in, giving the pair a simple wave as he began walking towards the car. Brian cut the engine and unbuckled himself so that he could grab Houdini before hopping out of the car. Stewie exited soon after.

“Hey, hey! Right on time!”

The man stopped in front of them and leaned down to address his clients.

“I’ve got everything all ready to go out back. The crew will be here soon. They’ll get all your things loaded up. In the meantime, let’s go take a tour of what will essentially be your home for the next several months.”

He motioned for the pair to follow after him, which they did, following him all the way out the back of the garage and into a big parking lot that was completely empty aside from one rather large bus. Slade motioned toward the vehicle, making a show of its reveal.

“May I present to you your tour bus, lady and dog.”

He laughed and continued walking toward the bus.

Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie had stopped dead in their tracks and were simply staring at the bus, their _tour bus_ . Slade had really gone all out, it was a real, proper tour bus and the paint job even served as a mobile advertisement for their act, an image of the pair that must have been taken at one of their shows with **The Amazing Brian & Fabulous Stella **written out in big, bold cursive writing.

It was theirs.

It was totally _theirs_!

“Come on, you two!”

The duo snapped out of their awe induced trance, quickly following after Slade as he opened the door of the bus and led them into the driver’s portion.

“This sucker used to belong to an old comedian who is no longer performing. Bought it on the cheap, but it’s still really nice, especially if you’re new to life on the road.”

He pointed at the driver’s seat.

“The driver is stationed here, obviously. I advise you to start things off right with them. They are in charge of driving you around the country, after all.”

The man turned a bit and stepped behind the driver’s seat, pointing out a door that neither  Stewie nor Brian had noticed upon entering.

“This is your way into the actual living space of the bus.”

He smirked at them.

“You ready for this?”

Without waiting for an answer, Slade opened the door and stepped out of the way allowing Brian and Stewie to enter first. As soon as they stepped through the door, they found themselves in surprisingly spacious accommodations, though them both being smaller than the average human adult certainly helped with that. To their left were some drawers for storage, but next to that, there was a comfy looking booth, two seating areas with a table in the middle and a window on the wall beside it. Just off to the right was a full-sized fridge which had a quaint little kitchen area right next to it. A cabinet area was further along that wall.

They continued forward, mouths agape as they passed the kitchen space and entered into what was essentially a living room. There was couch attached to the left wall with something akin to a coffee table in front of it, and in front of that, hanging over on the right wall was a large flat screen television. As they were taking all this in, Slade finally stepped in front of them and pointed at the television.

“Got a ya a fairly decent entertainment setup here. You’ll be glad you have it. Gonna be cooped up in here _a lot_.”

He chuckled before continuing.

“It has a combo Blu-ray/DVD player, but it you’ll also be able to stream basically anything you want. This bus has its own mobile hotspot included, and the T.V. has all the apps and whatnot on it. At least that’s what I was told.”

The man shrugged  and moved out of the way again.

“Just a little more to see. Go ahead!”

Brian set Houdini’s carrier down on the table before following after Stewie to the back of the bus. The kid was already inspecting it thoroughly.

“Bathroom. Necessary. Shower included. Lovely. What’s this behind me, though? Oh! It’s walk-in closet! Ahhh! And it’s got a little table and with a mirror! It’s like a little dressing room! Bry, get in here!”

The canine followed Stewie’s voice off to the right, entering the closet area and coming face-to-face with a very happy Stewie. He smiled and took a look around, actually finding himself pretty impressed by how spacious the area was.

“Wow. I guess this is pretty neat. Perfect for you.”

He laughed before turning around and heading back out into the main area. He was Slade standing by a door that was all the way in the back the bus, grinning ear to ear.

“So, does this baby have everything or what?”

Stewie exited the closet and responded enthusiastically.

“I love it!”

The man’s grin grew just a slight bit bigger.

“Good to hear, but aren’t you guys forgetting something?”

The pair looked at each other, not all too sure what Slade could be referring to. Of course, this was all pretty overwhelming. It was hard for either of them to think, even the little disguised genius.

Finally, they both looked back at Slade and offered up simultaneous shrugs.

He snickered.

“You two gotta sleep, right? Didn’t honestly think I was leaving you with just a couch, did ya.”

He reached back and opened the door behind him, stepping backwards as he opened it.

“Surely you’d prefer to have an actual bedroom.”

Brian’s eyes went a little wide.

“Uhhhh…”

Stewie rushed forward, taking a leap and launching himself onto the bed that was now in full view. He landed with a thud before sinking into the soft mattress, a blissful sigh escaping his lips as he closed his eyes.

“Mmmmm. Comfy.”

While Stewie was busy relaxing on the bed, Slade turned his attention towards Brian. He winked at the canine.

“Looks like the lady approves.”

Brian just remained standing, eyes flicking back and forth from the smirking man and his infant friend who was currently in heaven as he embraced the bed. Their _single_ bed.

He gulped.

“Man...this thing really does have everything…”

* * *

Life on the road ended up starting out kind of rough. Brian and Stewie had done little to no travel of this nature prior to all of their recent good fortune, so they weren’t quite prepared for just how disorientating and at times...nauseating being in a moving home could essentially be. Motion sickness was one hurdle they had not expected to encounter, but after a few hours walking around in their mobile tour bus, it became apparent that they both weren’t feeling all that well. Even Houdini, who Stewie had insisted on allowing to run free about the bus, seemed oddly out of sorts for such a usually lively creature. They had tried watching a movie in order to distract themselves, but it had only helped so much. Eventually, Stewie had simply opted to go rest on the bed. Brian had considered joining him, but in the end, he had just decided to remain there on the couch. Luckily, whenever the bus did end up making a stop, the sickness graciously passed quickly. Unluckily, there just weren’t that many stops on that first trip, maybe two? All Brian knew was that, even though it had only been just over a day of travel to their first tour stop in Chicago, it had felt like they had already been on the road for much longer.

It had been quite an ordeal, but even though the pair were really hoping this wouldn’t end up being the trend for their whole tour, the experience did little to harm their immense excitement as they arrived in Chicago and made their way into the first of many venues they would be performing in for the next few months.

The Chicago Theatre.

What the place lacked in name creativity, it more than made up for in presentation on the inside, rows and rows of seats lined the aisles of two floors surrounded by grandiose, ornate mural-painted walls. The stage seemed about the right size for such a place, but Brian couldn’t help but feel like it was absolutely gargantuan when he was up there rehearsing with Stewie the night before their first show. He could definitely feel the stage fright already setting in.

It didn’t help that it felt like only a blink later and he was backstage preparing to go out and perform the real deal.

The dog took a peek out into the crowd, his gut sinking upon seeing the immense group of people. His legs started to shake.

“Oh my god. There’s so many people out there, Stewie…”

Stewie, who had been setting up Houdini for his part in the show, glanced up with a huge grin.

“That’s great! All the more motivation to go out there and give these people a show to remember!”

The canine chuckled nervously as he began scratching at his neck, forcing himself to look away from the crowd as he retreated closer to his only source of comfort in such unfamiliar waters.

“You really think we’re good enough…?”

Stewie’s smile lowered some, but the confidence in his voice didn’t seem to falter.

“Of course! Look, I know it can be a little...daunting. You’re not the only one who has butterflies, right now, love, but we went over everything yesterday. You’re going to do great! You got this, baby!”

The young boy’s words seemed to do wonders for his frantic nerves. He could feel himself already starting to calm down. Stewie always seemed to have that effect on him. Still...there were a couple of words in particular that the dog was focusing on.

_Love. Baby._

He was still getting used to that. When Stewie was Stella, the kid was all in on staying in character, even when they were most likely alone. Better safe than sorry, sure, but…

“You guys are on in five.”

Slade seemed to materialize out of nowhere, causing the two to turn their attention towards their agent.

“I know! I almost can’t believe it!”

The tyke did a little jump in excitement before reaching over and grabbing a little compact that he had in a purse sitting on a nearby table. He looked at his reflection and began making a few minor adjustments to his blonde hair.

“I hope I look ok. Gotta make a good first impression, after all!”

Brian went to reassure his friend, but Slade beat him to it.

“You look as beautiful as ever. You’ll knock ‘em dead!”

Stewie hummed to himself, a bit of pink appearing in his cheeks as he closed the compact and put it away.

“I knew you had good tastes, Slade.”

He giggled just as Brian spoke up.

“Shouldn’t you be focusing on more than just how you look?”

Stewie batted his hand at the animal, but his response was drowned out by a loud voice that suddenly came booming through the theatre.

“Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for an evening of magic and wonder! Please give a big round of applause for The Amazing Brian and his lovely assistant, The Fabulous Stella!”

Slade clicked his tongue and pointed towards the stage.

“All you, kids.”

Both Brian and Stewie took a breath before turning to head out on stage. Brian walked out first, finding himself to be almost blinded by the spotlight as a wave of applause crashed over his eardrums. It was a lot to take in, but he kept his composure, smiling and waving at the crowd as Stewie then came out after him doing similarly as he gracefully pushed their cart full of tricks out in front of him.

The performers took center-stage and waited for the crowd to die down. Once silence fell over the theater, Stewie took that as his cue to begin addressing their audience.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Before me and my partner begin, let’s get one thing out of the way first because I know what you must be thinking. ‘A magic show? Really? Did I time travel back about a decade or something? Who goes to see magic shows anymore?’”

The crowd laughed in amusement. Stewie let them finish before he continued.

“Well, the answer to that would appear to be all you lovely people! So, me and my partner would just like to thank you for coming out to see us at the first big show of our debut tour! We hope to provide you with a night of fun and wonder, maybe take you back to a simpler time when a card trick could leave you in awe or an illusion could bring you just as much joy as it did bafflement. So, just come with us on this journey, will you? I think you’ll be glad that you did.”

He turned to Brian, then, giving the canine a flirty wink.

“Shall we kick things off with a classic?”

The dog smiled at his partner and nodded his head enthusiastically.

“Can’t beat the classics, right?”

He then took off his top hat and set it on the table before speaking to the crowd.

“There is one other special little guy that always accompanies me and Stella in our shows. Would you people like to meet him?”

Murmurs of curiosity began echoing throughout the theater as Brian turned the opening of his hat towards the audience.

“Nothing in the hat.”

He waved it around making sure to give everyone the best view possible. Then, he set it back down, opening facing up.

“Or so it would seem.”

The dog reached into the hat and made a show of digging around in it, trying to seem like he wasn’t quite finding what he was looking for.

“Ok, little guy, where are you…?”

Stewie turned to him, pretending to be annoyed.

“Please don’t tell me that The Amazing Brian has gone and lost our baby. Come on! Put that magic of yours to good use!”

Brian chuckled nervously, all part of the act, but it was quite convincing as he continued to dig around.

“He’s gotta be in here somewhere. He always comes when I summon him. Maybe you could try calling to him?”

The infant sighed, fighting not to smile as he called towards the hat.

“Houdini! Come out and greet all these lovely people!”

Brian dug around for a moment more before making a move as if he’d finally caught something.

“Wait a minute… I think…”

He smirked.

“Aha!”

And pulled Houdini up by his scruff up and out of the hat.

“There he is!”

The crowd began clapping as well uttering a few oooooo’s and ahhhhhhh’s at the cute bunny who now being set down on the table.

Stewie wiped his brow and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Woooo! I getting a little worried there. Would be a shame to cancel our tour so early.”

The baby walked over and stood next to the table reaching up to pet the bunny who was sitting there, basking in the audience’s attention.

“Can’t perform without Houdini, now, can we?”

Brian shook his head.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He paused for a second, appearing to have a thought.

“I guess we might as well show everyone what Houdini can do.”

Stewie hummed in agreement.

“Indeed.”

He spoke to the rabbit next.

“What do you think, sweetie? Wanna help us with a trick?”

Houdini’s whiskers twitched, causing Stewie to smile.

“That would be a yes.”

The crowd laughed as Brian moved to retrieve a deck of cards. He began shuffling them. Stewie clapped his hands a couple of times.

“Ohhhh! I know what you’re about to do. He really likes this one.”

Brian finished shuffling the deck and then fanned them out in front of the rabbit.

“Pick a card, Houdini.”

The bunny turned toward the cards and hesitated only briefly before grabbing one with his mouth, sparking much amusement from his audience. Stewie leaned over to take a peek at the card.

“Hmmm. Ok. Wanna show all these nice people your card, Houdini?”

Brian turned away as Houdini tilted his head, showing a three of hearts to the now laughing crowd. A few seconds later, the bunny turned his head back, and Brian moved to hold the cards out in front of him again.

Houdini slipped the card back into the deck.

Brian began shuffling the cards up again.

Stewie gave his pet a little pat on the head.

After a few more seconds of shuffling, Brian set the deck down and looked over at Stewie.

“Stella, would you reveal the top card please?”

Stewie nodded his head and reached over to grab the card. He looked at it, smiled, and then turned it so the crowd could see the three of hearts.

Applause followed immediately afterwards. Brian and Stewie took a bow before Stewie stepped forward once again.

“And we’re just getting started, folks!”

* * *

The Chicago show was a huge success. The pleased roar of the crowd was more than enough to indicate that as Stewie and Brian concluded the night with their sword trick, which had become a regular go to as their closing number of sorts. Such a huge success was definitely a good cause for celebration, so Stewie and Brian were more than happy to accept Slade’s offer for a celebratory dinner immediately afterward. They just had to stop by the tour bus to drop off Houdini, and then, they were off with their agent to indulge in a bit of fine dining while patting themselves on the back for a job well done. Slade had purchased a bottle of champagne for the table, and the waiter had just returned with it and was tending to Stewie first, filling the cup with the delectable, bubbling liquid. The child took a sip as the waiter moved on to Slade next.

“Mmmmmm. That is just divine…”

Slade nodded his head even though he had yet to taste the champagne for himself.

“I have to say...well…”

He chuckled.

“I’ve been saying it all night, but I’ll say it again. You two were fantastic! Like, I knew you would be, don’t get me wrong. We wouldn’t be on the road together if I ever doubted you, but man, I think you two really came into your own as an act tonight. The crowd was eating up everything you were dishing out! It was incredible!”

Both Brian and Stewie were beaming, finding themselves a little overwhelmed by how perfectly everything seemed to be going.

“Is everyone ready to order.”

The trio all turned their attention towards the waiter, each of them quickly stating their desired selection for the evening before sending the man off on his way. The conversation continued from there as Stewie smirked at Slade.

“You know, I don’t exactly like to brag, but me and Bry Bear were quite good tonight, weren’t we?”

He nudged the canine with his elbow.

“Proud of you, babe. You’ve never been better.”

Brian felt his body grow warm as he suddenly started to feel a little...was it bashful? He shook his head.

“Oh, stop. You practically carried the show.”

The infant giggled.

“Weeeeell, that is true, but then again, I’m always making you look good so what else is new?”

Slade was reclining at the opposite end of the table, casually sipping his champagne and watching the pair’s exchange before deciding to cut in here.

“Oh, come on, Brian. You were both great!”

The man snickered then, leaning forward as he sat his glass down.

“You’re a lucky guy, dog. Talented, charismatic, and to top it all off, you caught this little gem?”

He pointed at Stewie who immediately diverted his eyes out of slight embarrassment.

“I’m telling you, Brian, a lot of guys would kill for someone as special as that.”

The dog’s eyebrow rose slightly. A part of him wanted to simply accept the honestly kind series of compliments, but another part of him found Slade’s choice of words a bit odd. What was this focus on Stewie all about? He didn’t know what to make of it, so in the interest of not bringing the evening down, he ended up simply nodding his head before continuing to play his role to a ‘T’.

“Oh, believe me, I know. Too bad for them, though. Me and Stella are inseparable.”

Another giggle was heard coming from the infant before he spoke up.

“That we are, darling.”

He looked up at the canine and smiled sweetly as a hand reached over and came to rest on Brian’s paw.

“Stuck together for life…”

Brian looked over and met Stewie’s gaze, a sweet smile forming in his expression as well, but in the next moment, the baby was leaning up and giving him a quick peck on the lips. The dog’s eyes widened, surprised by the sudden romantic gesture, but he knew he had to keep from looking too shocked for fear of throwing off Slade. So, he doubled-down on the act and immediately leaned in for another quick peck. He could have sworn he heard the infant gasp as he went to pull away, but he decided to pay it hardly any mind.

_There. You take me off guard, and I do the same to you._

He snickered under his breath, feeling a slight thrill at having beat the little deviant at his own game. He was so caught up in himself that it barely registered when Slade began talking again.

“Ok, so the first show went off perfectly. We won’t be leaving Chicago for another couple of days. I just wanted you two to get your feet wet at first, so I booked you guys a hotel to stay in for the weekend so you can relax a bit. But, after that is when the real fun begins. You’ll be doing shows almost every night, and I’m going to be honest, it might drive you a bit crazy after a while. It’ll be worth it, though. After seeing how people reacted to you tonight, I have no doubt that Brian and Stella are going to become some of the biggest names in entertainment very soon. You keep doing shows like that and you’ll be superstars in no time!”

Brian and Stewie simply nodded along, both definitely liking the sound of everything Slade was saying, but both also pretty preoccupied in their heads as they couldn’t help but put more focus on the hand-on-paw contact that was still occurring under the table.

* * *

The time in Chicago flew by, and before long, the performing pair were off to Minneapolis. After that, they hit Denver, and after that, Salt Lake City.

Seattle.

Portland.

San Francisco.

Just a blur of cities that became almost too difficult to keep track of. When they weren’t on the road they were either performing or rehearsing, so despite spending the majority of the time in their temporary home, Brian and Stewie couldn’t help but to find the lifestyle of a touring act to be rather tiring, especially when they were pretty much performing a show every night or so. Luckily, the motion sickness had ceased being an issue after only a few more days, and without that in the way, the tour bus actually was a pretty cozy place to spend some time. Houdini certainly loved the freedom he had to just roam around, always finding new nooks and crannies for Stewie to go fishing him out of.

“Houdini? Where are you, sweetie? Do we really have to play hide and seek, right now?”

The infant, who was currently out of his usual disguise, sighed before turning to address the dog sitting on the couch a few feet away from him, shooting him a glare.

“You know, you could actually help me find this little scamp every once in a while. Who knows, maybe this is all just some big cry for attention. Maybe he’s hoping his neglectful daddy will actually come looking for him for once.”

The canine just rolled his eyes as he continued to peruse Netflix.

“Don’t call me daddy.”

Stewie folded his arms over his chest as he huffed in annoyance.

“Might want to get those ears checked, dear. I wasn’t calling you daddy. I was talking about Houdini, who, in case you’ve forgotten, should be practically a son to you. So, yes, for all intents and purposes you are that little cutie’s daddy.”

The child began scanning the bus again, trying to find a hint as to where his pet was hiding. After a little while, though, a smirk fell across his lips as he went to say more to Brian.

“However...maybe Stella likes calling you daddy.”

He snickered.

“We can find out sometime, if you’d like.”

There was a beat of silence as Brian turned to stare daggers at the boy, prompting Stewie to burst into laughter as he continued.

“That’s the thing about acting, Bry! Gotta be willing to become the character!”

The dog just continued to stare for a moment longer before simply shaking his head.

“You’re sick.”

The baby’s laughs began to die down. He reached up and wiped some moisture from his eye, still giggling, but those giggles were soon silenced when he thought he saw a little tuft of white out of the corner of his eye.

“Aha!”

He rushed over to where he had seen it, the pet carrier, practically diving onto the floor as he got down to look inside. Indeed, there was Houdini sitting in the back, looking smug as hell. The kid sighed once more.

“Why do you do this to mommy? I thought you hated this thing. You’re always so eager to get out. It would have taken me forever to think to look in here if you hadn’t tried sneaking a peek.”

Stewie reached in and retrieved the bunny before standing up and going to have a seat next to Brian on the couch. The dog was still searching for something to watch. Sometimes it felt like he spent more time actually searching for something to watch rather than watching it. The child sat there bored for a few minutes before speaking up.

“Any day now…”

The canine grunted.

“Nothing looks good.”

Another sigh from the boy.

“Maybe you’re just too picky.”

Silence fell over them once again, lasting only a little while before Stewie spoke up again.

“Just remember not to pick anything too graphic.”

He looked down and smiled at the rabbit in his lap.

“There are children in the room.”

Brian snorted.

“I’m aware.”

The searching went on for another several minutes. It was absolutely driving Stewie up a wall. The infant found that he could only stand to wait around for a few minutes longer before he finally gave up. With a groan, the child picked up Houdini and set him down in Brian’s lap.

“Here.”

He hopped up off of the couch and turned to head for the bedroom.

“Spend some time with your son. I’m going to go take a nap.”

The canine sat up from his reclined position in surprise. He wasn’t able to get a word out before Stewie had retreated to the back of the bus. He frowned, genuinely upset that he may have made Stewie upset. He was just a little irritable, though. They both were, irritable and exhausted. It wasn’t like he was actually trying to get on Stewie’s nerves or anything…

He set the remote down with a sigh and looked down at the rabbit in his lap. The little guy was currently staring up at him with a curious expression.

_Maybe he’s wondering where his “mommy” has gone._

The dog shook his head at the thought as he smiled down at the rabbit.

“What’s up, Houdini?”

He pointed at the television.

“You wanna pick something?”

* * *

“Would Tommy Gaither please come up to the stage!?”

Los Angeles.

At the Belasco Theater.

A venue with a fairly small stage but also big screens on the side that made sure everyone had a clear view of what was going on onstage.

Brian and Stewie had been on tour for a couple of months, now, and the whole routine had become pretty second nature at this point. They were now at the point in the act when a randomly selected audience member got a chance to come up on stage and participate in a few tricks. Stewie had just called out the name on the card he had been given by a crew member, prompting a rather heavyset but well-dressed bald man about six rows down to stand up. The man was grinning ear to ear as he shuffled his way through the aisles, eventually getting free and rushing up to take his spot on stage. Stewie led him to a seat over by the table Brian was currently standing behind. Houdini was there, too, perched in his usual spot. The child motioned towards the bunny as he addressed their audience participant.

“This little guy will keep you company while The Amazing Brian wows you!”

The audience responded to the comment with laughter as did the man on stage, but they were soon silenced once Brian raised his paw to signal for them to stop. The canine tilted his top hat a bit before turning to begin speaking to Tommy.

“Tell me, sir, do you happen to have a couple of dollar bills on you?”

The man frowned slightly.

“I do, but I believe I already paid to see this show.”

The frown faded into the same smile from before, making it clear that the man was just joking. The audience laughed again. Brian chuckled a little, too.

“Hey, now! I’m the entertainer up here!”

Another round of laughter as Tommy pulled out his wallet and fished out two dollar bills. He handed them to Brian, who then began inspecting them. He hummed to himself thoughtfully.

_A five and a twenty… I can work with that._

The canine shook the bills and laid them out on the table, the five on top of the twenty, perpendicular to each other. Stewie began walking over to take a seat on the opposite end of the table as Brian began setting up for his trick.

“So, Tommy, can I get you to confirm for the audience that these bills are entirely yours and that they have not been tampered with in any way?”

The man nodded his head.

“You most certainly can. There’s absolutely nothing fishy about those bills, I swear it.”

The dog nodded as well and began rolling the bills up tightly on the table.

“Ok, thank you for that, Tommy. Now, we’re going to do a couple of things with these bills, but I just want to go ahead and assure you that you will be getting your money back once we’re all done here.”

More amused chuckling from the audience as Brian finished rolling up the bills, leaving two corners pointing up at the top. He placed a finger on each corner and then used his head to direct Tommy to look at where his paws were.

“I know it might be a little difficult for everyone to see what I just did, so would you be so kind as to explain for them? Which bill was on top?”

The man hesitated before responding with a shake of his head.

“I...I’m sorry. I’m afraid I wasn’t paying too much attention…”

The animal snickered a bit as he unrolled the bills.

“That’s ok! Here. I’ll show you again.”

He gave Tommy a second to look at the bills before asking the question again.

“So, which one is on top?”

The man shrugged.

“Well, the five is on top of the twenty, but...why does that…”

Stewie cut in.

“Please, sir, let The Amazing Brian work his magic. All will be made clear soon.”

The canine shot a quick smile Stewie’s way before he turned back to Tommy and began rolling the bills up like before. Once they were good and tightly rolled, he directed the man to place a finger on the point closest to himself.

“Ok. Now, just hold this right here, and Stella, would you please place a finger on the remaining corner?”

The child leaned over and reached for the bills, his finger just barely grazing Brian's as it came to rest on the corner. He fluttered his lashes at the animal, playing dumb for show.

“Like this, you mean?”

Brian had to fight not to roll his eyes.

“Very good. Just like that. You two are doing perfectly! Ok. So, now I’m going to close my eyes and will something to happen to these bills. Once I’m sure it has worked, I will release them. They will then unroll and reveal… Well, you’ll see soon enough.”

Nobody said anything as the dog’s eyes fell shut. The entire theater went silent as everyone eagerly waited to see just what was about to happen. Brian began breathing heavily, as if he was straining to do something. This went on for several seconds before he finally opened his eyes again. He addressed the crowd.

“I think that did it. Moment of truth!”

He let go of the bills, causing them to unroll on the table.

The man gasped, finding himself stunned upon seeing that the bills had switched places. The twenty was now on top.

“No… How did you...?”

“How did he what, sir?’

Stewie’s voice interrupted the man. The infant was smiling at their participant knowingly and nudged his head towards the bills on the table.

“Please, tell everyone what you see.”

Tommy looked out into the crowd, a look of shock still on his face.

“The twenty is on top, now. I watched him roll them up with the five on top with my own eyes. I was watching so carefully this time…”

The crowd began clapping, but Brian didn’t wait for them to stop before moving on to the next trick.

“How badly do you need this twenty-five dollars, Tommy?”

The man looked back over at the dog, giving him a suspicious look.

“Why do you want to know?”

Brian snatched up the bills then, his free hand going under the table.

“I was just curious, is all.”

The dog pulled his paw out from under the table and revealed a pair of sharp scissors.

“I kinda wanted to know how bad it would be if I did…”

Before Tommy had even had time to react, the canine had taken the scissors and snipped both bills in half. The man gasped again, this time no longer amused as he watched his money get sliced in half.

“H-Hey! Just what the hell do you think you’re doing!?”

Both Brian and Stewie shrugged. Stewie responded first.

“Looks pretty clear to me that he just took a pair of scissors to your money.”

Then Brian.

“Look, it’s really not a big deal, nothing a couple of pairs of scotch tape won’t fix. Orrrrrr…”

The dog smirked at the man.

“I could just restore them for you. How does that sound?”

The man still didn't look all too happy about what had just occurred, but it was also clear that Brian’s offer had piqued his curiosity.

“Restore them?”

The canine nodded in the affirmative.

“Absolutely. I can make them good as new, no problem.”

He held up the bill halves for Tommy.

“Wanna see?”

Without waiting for a response, the canine turned towards the whole audience.

“You all want to see!?”

The crowd began cheering, spurring Brian on as he then held out the bill pieces in front of him at complete arm’s-length.

“Don’t blink.”

Again, without hesitation, Brian made his move, giving both wrists a firm shake, somehow causing the halves in his paws to suddenly become full dollar bills once again. This caused the audience to give what was probably their biggest round of applause yet.

The canine smiled, basking in the praise for a minute before handing the money off to Stewie, who then proceeded to pocket it. Tommy’s eyes went wide as he saw the lovely assistant blatantly stealing the bills he had been told he’d be getting back,

“H-Hey, you can’t do th-”

Brian interjected.

“Do you happen to have a coin on you, Tommy? Got a few more tricks to show ya.”

The audience laughed, their enjoyment eventually convincing the reluctant man to pull a quarter out of his pocket and hand it to the pair in front of him.

* * *

Brian was proud of himself. For once he was completely and truly proud of himself. He no longer felt like he was just playing the role of the magician. No, he had stopped feeling like that a little while ago. It was odd, though, because he never in a million years expected to feel so strongly about this thing that he had originally mainly done as just a fun way to hang out with Stewie. Out of all his pursuits in life, how could he have ever predicted that magic would bring him the most success? He’d never been all that fond of magic shows or anything, but with every successful show performed, he found himself gaining more and more respect for the artistry of it as he continued to get better and better. And, now, he was yet another artist choosing to express himself through that particular medium.

And he was good at it!

Pretty damn good at it, according to plenty of people.

Stewie included.

What more could he ask for than that!

These were the thoughts rolling through the canine’s head as he finished up with his shower in the hotel bathroom. He and Stewie were just over halfway done with their tour, now, and Slade had arranged for them to take a few days off after a big show in Austin. It was a much welcome break considering that he and his partner had been going pretty much nonstop for months now, which was actually a great thing because their constant touring actually was beginning to stir up some buzz in the major entertainment community. Slade had told them that not long ago, and the articles from various outlets that Brian was now finding regularly on his phone only served as proof to the man’s claim.

“Bry, you almost done in there?”

If it hadn’t been for his keen canine hearing, Brian would have never heard the tyke over the sound of the rushing water pouring over his head. However, he knew Stewie had no such thing, so it was with great reluctance (but also an understanding that he’d been relaxing under the showerhead for quite some time now) that he finally shut the water off before calling back to his partner.

“Yeah. Just stepping out now, Stewie.”

He opened the glass door to the shower and grabbed a towel to begin drying off.

“Oh, good! Me and Houdini were just starting to think we’d lost you to the allure of an extravagant shower!”

The canine chuckled.

“Well, I guess technically for a while you did!”

Barely a pause before the infant responded.

“Awwww! Is it really that easy?”

Brian shrugged even though there was no way for Stewie to see it.

“It would appear that way, kid.”

He was only just barely able to make out the little huff that the boy released upon hearing that. It brought a smile to his face.

_Heh. Cute._

“Fine. Be that way. I’ve got plenty of people out there dying for a piece of this, and we both know you’ll just end up crawling back anyway. Let’s face it, Brian, yo-”

The sound of Stewie’s phone ringing could be heard cutting the child off mid-sentence. Brian was just finishing up getting the majority of the dampness out of his fur when he heard the baby speak again.

“Oh! I should take this! We’ll continue this conversation later, though, don’t you worry!”

Brian didn’t say anything, having already heard the kid already utter a barely audible “Hello?” in his disguised voice.

_Hmmmm. Must be Slade. Wonder what he could want…_

It was only a passing thought since Brian was primarily focused on getting done in the bathroom and getting to that big, comfy bed. He was going to sleep like a goddamn...well...like a goddamn baby tonight. He reached over and grabbed the blow dryer to finish the job. Several minutes later, he was almost completely dry. He shut off the dryer and admired himself in the mirror for a bit, picturing himself in his magician’s attire and smirking.

“Yeah, that’s right, you are The AMAZING Brian, huh? Magician. Professional magician. Gotta keep yourself looking good. Ain’t just the magic packing those seats every night, right?”

The canine laughed a shot pistol fingers at his reflection.

Though...it did occur to him that if anyone was drawing in the crowd due to simply looks alone...it was probably Stewie. In the next moment he was picturing Stewie as Stella. The crossdressing child was now standing next to him, arms wrapped his waist as he smirked into the mirror.

_“Too bad for them. This handsome, professional magician is all mine.”_

The dog shivered and shook his head frantically, trying to clear it.

Jeez… This whole constantly pretending to be _Stella’s_ boyfriend thing was really starting to get to him…

He laughed nervously and remained standing there for a moment longer before taking a breath and finally exiting the bathroom. To his complete surprise, he emerged to find Stewie had gotten all dressed up as Stella in the little time since they had last spoken. The child had been working on a gadget of some kind whenever he had first gone in, but now, the baby had completely abandoned that task for whatever was happening now. The dog’s eyebrow quirked slightly in confusion.

“Uhhhhhh… We going somewhere? Should I get dressed, too?”

The disguised baby turned to look at his partner, shaking his head.

“What? Oh! No. No, no, no. That’s alright. You can stay here and relax. I don’t think I’ll be long.”

Ok. That was definitely weird.

“Ok… And where exactly are you going?”

The infant finished putting his current invention away before turning to answer the canine.

“I just talked to Slade. He wants to meet with me to discuss some things, said he had a few ideas for how I could contribute to the act more, which honestly is something I’ve brought up to him before. Don’t get me wrong, darling, I love being your lovely assistant, but surely I have more to offer to this whole endeavor than just standing up there and looking gorgeous, right?”

The child didn’t wait for an answer before rushing past the now frowning Brian and into the bathroom.

“Just gotta put my face on, and I’ll be heading right on out of here. I shouldn’t be long. If you’re still awake by the time I get back, maybe we can watch a movie or something. How does that sound? Oh, and I fed Houdini already so he’s all good to go for the night. Take good care of him. You know how he gets when mommy is away.”

Brian could feel a sinking feeling in his gut. Stewie was really just going to run off and leave him alone tonight? Seriously? A scowl came to rest on his features as he shuffled over to join Houdini on the bed.

The bunny was looking all about the room, obviously excited and confused upon seeing Stewie getting up and about in such a hurry. Eventually, though, the pet’s gaze went directly to Brian as he looked at the dog with an expression of pure curiosity.

The canine just shrugged.

“Yeah. I don’t know exactly know what’s going on either.”

He sighed and crawled up so that he could lie his head down on one of the big, fluffy pillows. Houdini hopped along after him, coming to a halt as he went to lie down on the pillow right next to Brian’s.

A few minutes later, Stewie finally emerged. The kid ran over to grab his purse as Brian just stared at him, his eyes scanning over the child’s body. He exhaled through his nostrils loudly.

“You sure got all dolled up for what’s supposed to a quick meeting.”

Stewie slung the purse over his shoulder and turned to look at the canine, appearing slightly surprised as he dropped his disguised voice temporarily.

“Huh? Ok… What’s it to you? I’m a star now, Brian. Gotta look my best no matter where I go, but then again, I doubt you’d understand…”

They looked at each other in silence for a few moments before Brian simply rolled over onto his side.

“Whatever, man.”

Stewie remained standing there, looking even more confused than before as he took a couple of steps towards his friend.

“Are you...ok? Does this really bug you that much?”

Brian wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to that. He was definitely feeling...off, but when he really thought about, what reason did he have for feeling that way? How could he justify this behavior to Stewie when he couldn’t even justify it to himself? He sighed and then yawned before reluctantly looking back over to the baby.

“No… It’s fine. I’m just tired. Maybe I’ll take a quick nap while you’re gone.”

He smiled then, trying to appear more ok than he actually felt.

“We’ll hang out after you get back. The night is still young, after all.”

Stewie stood there looking skeptical for several moments before finally smiling back.

“Hmmm. Ok. I’d like that.”

His demeanor shifted then as he continued speaking in the higher pitch reserved for Stella.

“Ok. I’m off, baby. I’ll try and get back to you as soon as I can. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

The infant giggled and winked at the canine before practically skipping out the door. Brian found it hard not to laugh a little at the sight as he reached over and grabbed the remote for the television.

_Heh. Cute…_

* * *

The crowd gasped in awe as a full bouquet of flowers suddenly appeared in the dog’s paw. They gasped even louder when a dove suddenly came flying out of the bouquet after Brian had done nothing but wave his paw over it.

The canine smiled broadly. Perfect. He’d been practicing that one for a while.

He and Stewie were now nearing the end of another big show. This time they were performing in the Playstation Theater located on Broadway in New York. They were also nearing the end of their tour completely. There were only a few more stops to make after tonight before they took off for good ole Vegas for the grand finale.

The time had really flown by…

Brian watched as the dove flew off backstage and over by one of the crew members who quickly caught the bird and secured it. The stagehand shot the dog a thumbs up to indicate that everything was fine, and the dog gave a single nod to indicate he understood before looking down at Stewie. The boy was standing next to him, hands clasped against his chest while wearing the most adorable smile. Brian could tell that his partner had been significantly impressed to see him pull that one off in front of a crowd for the first time. There was something else there, too, but Brian could only allow his eyes to linger on the baby for so long before he knew it was time to address the audience.

“Have you had fun tonight, ladies and gentlemen!?”

The audience clapped their approval as Stewie stepped forward. It was time to set up for their final trick of the night.

“Thank you! Thank you! No, really, you guys have been one of the best audiences we’ve ever had! It’s been such a pleasure serving as your entertainment for the night. Unfortunately, we’re about at the end of our little show…”

Sounds of disappointment could be heard coming from the crowd, causing Brian and Stewie to feel both happy that these people loved their act so much but also sad to see such a brilliant night come to an end. It really had been one of the best. They had actual fans now, and it had been made pretty clear early on in the show that most of these people were some of those fans.

They weren’t just here for a fun night of magic. They actually just wanted to see The Amazing Brian and The Fabulous Stella. It was incredible.

“I know. I know. Believe me, my partner and I hate to see things come to an end just as much as you do, but we do have one last trick to cap things off with. So, if you’ll just excuse me...”

Stewie rushed backstage to retrieve something, earning a few chuckles from the crowd as Brian was left to stand there all alone awkwardly.

The canine chuckled and began scratching his neck, playing up the slight tension for a few easy laughs.

“I...I’m not really sure what to do, now. I usually leave most of the talking to Stella.”

The audience giggled. Brian’s eyes began shifting back and forth from one end of the crowd to the other.

“Sooooooo, you guys see any good movies lately?”

The dog only heard a few people actually respond, but it soon didn’t matter as Stewie was now making his way back on stage, pushing a small, rectangular box on wheels.

“Oh, no…”

He stopped pushing the box once he had joined the canine back at centerstage. He folded his arms and looked at his partner sternly.

“Don’t tell me, you attempted to have basic social interaction with these lovely people, didn’t you?”

The canine hung his head in shame.

“Y-Yeah.”

The infant shook his head, tsking away before turning back to the crowd.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that, folks. There’s a reason I’m the primary speaker of this couple.”

Loud laughter erupted from the audience. This continued for a good while before Brian finally raised his head back up.

“Whatever…”

He kicked at the ground.

“You ready to get sawed in half or what?”

The laughter stopped as surprised murmurs began echoing throughout the room.

Stewie giggled and motioned towards the box.

“Ready to be split in half, sir!”

The comment earned a few stray laughs as Brian went to open the box before picking up Stewie and placing him inside so that his head and feet were sticking out of the holes on either end.

While he was getting all boxed up, the child took a glance over at his pet still sitting over on the table. He frowned and called out towards backstage.

“Could somebody please come and grab Houdini? I’m not exactly sure I want him seeing this…”

A crew member was seen rushing out on stage a few moments later, quickly scooping up the bunny whose eyes displayed obvious shock as he was carried off from his usual spot.

Stewie smiled just as Brian finished latching the box shut.

“Thanks, Kevin!”

He looked up at what little he could see of Brian from his current angle.

“He’s my favorite.”

More laughter as Brian went to retrieve a couple of saw blades from under his table. As he walked back with them, he held them up for the audience to see, running a finger over them both slowly to indicate that they actually were very sharp...which they were. Brian had gotten cut a couple of times during practice for this trick, but by now, handling the blades was practically second nature.

He looked at the audience seriously.

“I advise you to not try this at home. Leave it to the professionals.”

And with that, the lights dimmed slightly as the noise of the crowd died down, leaving Brian and Stewie on stage in complete silence. The dog took a breath and held up one of the saw blades. He looked over at his partner, waiting for the ok. The baby nodded his head to indicate that he was ready, mouthing the words “trust you” as he grinned up at the canine. With the cue given, Brian began to slowly bring down the first saw blade toward the middle of the box. It appeared to cut through the material like warm butter before stopping like it hit something much tougher to cut through.

Stewie gasped, and a look of worry came over the dog’s expression. He didn’t stop, though. Instead, he applied a little more force. After a couple of hard pushes, the saw ventured lower. Stewie cried out as if he were in pain.

“Ahhhhh! Oh, god!”

The audience began speaking among themselves in mild concern, but Brian pressed on, pushing the blade down more and more, sometimes having to wiggle it back and forth a little so it would cut better, and all the while, Stewie continued to grimace and scream and moan as if he were in just the absolutely worst pain.

It was very convincing.

“Ugh! Is it all the way in yet?”

Brian gave one last hard shove of the blade causing it to fall the rest of the way, seating itself firmly between both halves of the box.

“Well, it is now.”

The dog grabbed the other saw blade and brought it up above the trapped child.

“Think you can handle one more?”

The boy groaned but nodded his head positively.

“Yes...if you really must…”

Without any further warning, Brian brought the second blade down with one hard push, causing the shrillest scream to pour out of Stewie yet. Sounds of shock and worry could be heard coming from the audience. One man’s voice in particular rose above the rest.

“You better not hurt her!”

The canine was taken off guard by the sudden outburst. That was certainly a first… Luckily, Stewie seemed more than capable of handling the situation, even with two saw blades separating his whole body.

“I assure you this is completely voluntary. If anything goes wrong…”

He paused for dramatic effect, staring up at the ceiling forlornly.

“I’ll have only myself to blame.”

Brian had to keep himself from snickering at the melodrama. That was his Stewie alright.

The canine waited to see if there would be anymore protest from the audience. When there wasn’t, he continued on, pushing both sides of the box far apart as Stewie’s visible head and feet continued to move despite no longer being part of one whole body. More shock from the audience as Brian took the half of the box with the feet and spun it around a few times so that everyone could see the box from any angle possible. He then repeated the process with the other half of the box. Stewie had to shut his eyes not to get dizzy.

“Whoa there, boy! Not so fast!”

A couple of nervous chuckles were heard as the canine finished up. He grabbed a hold of both halves again and slowly began to bring them back together. Then, he carefully removed both of the saws before setting them down and moving to unlatch the box. The canine threw it open and looked down to inspect his partner with mild concern. Upon seeing Stewie he smiled, though.

“Looking pretty good there, Stella.”

The infant giggled and reached out to accept a paw that was being offered to him before standing up in the box for everyone to see. Aside from a cut in his white dress, he appeared to be perfectly fine.

“Ta-da!”

The crowd cheered loudly, prompting the pair to take a few bows. It was during one of these bows, though, that Stewie felt the entire bottom half of his dress slipping down. The material then broke in half, falling down to reveal the child’s abdomen but nothing more than that as the quick-witted infant quickly caught the retreating material.

“Oh!”

He blushed furiously, moving to take a seat in the privacy of the box for fear of exposing more than was necessary. He was just tall enough to peek over the edge of the box, meaning he could still talk to the crowd. The child chuckled and wiped his brow.

“Whoo! That was a close one, huh?”

The crowd laughed as the baby looked up at his partner playfully.

“Maybe you could actually fuse my clothes back together next time. Huh, sweetie?”

The laughs increased in volume as Brian and Stewie continued to look at each other amused. Once they began to die down, though, Stewie finally turned back to the audience and shrugged.

“Aaaaaaand that’s our show! Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

He pointed toward the right side of the stage.

“I’m gonna go get changed. Goodnight, everyone!”

It seemed like everyone in the audience stood up to applaud the pair as Brian quickly wheeled his friend backstage where he could make himself decent, holding in his own laughs all the way.

* * *

The final few weeks of the big debut tour for The Amazing Brian and The Fabulous Stella were quite the eventful ones. Life on the road had essentially become second nature now, and the pair had grown to really love the lifestyle even with its shortcomings. There was just something incredibly freeing about it, which was maybe odd since in reality they were on a tighter schedule than they’d ever been before, but that did little to harm the impact of getting to just SEE so much of what was out there. They wondered what the next tour would be like. Would this one be successful enough to allow them to go international, see the whole world? It was an exciting prospect, for sure, and they both knew that they would gladly do this again. They’d actually talked about it, what they were supposed to do after this was all said and done. Of course, Slade was their agent, but they both knew that what mattered was doing what they both wanted and, as for now, they felt like they’d be pretty eager to just get back on the road again. So, as the day for their final show grew nearer and nearer, their excitement at the idea of performing a big Vegas show was tempered by a disappointment that this whole experience was about to come to an end, if only temporarily, but then again, that wasn’t entirely true.

You only get to experience that first tour one time, after all.

Still, there was plenty of hope in planning for the future. Stewie had really started tossing around several ideas for how he could get in on some of the magic performing for himself, and now, the boy seemed to be leaning toward becoming a mentalist, which made enough sense to Brian. Stewie was always reading people anyway, but he’d apparently first gotten the idea from Slade of all people during one of their one-on-one meetings.

Yeah. Those were still a thing…

Brian still wasn’t all too sure about Stewie going off to meet their agent all alone so regularly, but it seemed to be making Stewie happy so…

On top of all this, the child had seemed to start back up on his inventing hobby. Only now he was saying that he wanted to really start blowing some minds by creating devices that allowed them to perform some true wizardry on stage. From what Brian had been able to gather, Stewie was currently working on a device that would allow one or both of them to levitate, completely undetectable the child had claimed, and Brian had to admit, that would definitely get people talking. It was fun to imagine other more seasoned magic performers getting stumped by the new blood on the scene. That was certainly one way to make an impression.

In the end, though, all that really mattered was that this was still fun for them, and it was. The final few shows came and went quickly; the buzz about their act was spreading like wildfire; and before either or them quite knew it, they were heading for Las Vegas, the big one, the final stop of the tour.

The time had come to go out with a bang.

* * *

The crowd was absolutely massive. It was unlike anything they had ever seen, at least when it came to their own shows. Brian and Stewie were peeking out from backstage, both of their hearts racing as they took in the sight of the audience, so many eager people, people who had paid good money to come see THEM. If there was still any doubt as to whether their act was a success or not, that notion was completely quashed upon seeing the spectators for tonight.

“Alright! This is it! The end of the road, for now. Gotta make this one count guys! You’ve made it this far! I know you’ve got this!”

The pair turned around to see Slade approaching them. The man was grinning from ear to ear. He too must have been extremely pleased by tonight’s turn out. He pointed at Stewie.

“Hey, cutie, you gonna use tonight as an opportunity to try that thing we were talking about?”

Brian tilted his head.

_Cutie?_

“I think I might give it a test run, yeah, but to be perfectly honest, Slade, I think me and Bry might be putting the focus on the debut of a completely new trick for our act tonight.”

The man’s grin fell slightly.

“Oh? Something you haven’t mentioned to me before?”

Stewie smirked and nodded his head.

“That’s right, sir, but don’t worry. We’ve got this. It’ll be a great surprise for everyone.”

The man appeared to grow skeptical for a brief moment before shaking it off.

“Whatever you say, babe. You’re obviously the brains here.”

He quickly turned to Brian.

“No offense, man.”

The dog wasn’t exactly sure how to respond, so he opted to just fold his arms and remain silent as he waited to see how the rest of this conversation would play out. He really didn’t have much to see, though, as in the next moment the man was turning to leave.

“Break a leg, you two. See ya at the big party afterwards.”

And with that, Slade retreated back into another corner of the theater. Brian looked down to check his watch.

“Wow. Only a few minutes to go…”

Stewie hummed to himself.

“Too long for my liking. I’m ready to get out there!”

The baby ran over to where their props for tonight were, deciding to give them all one last inspection in order to pass the time. Brian followed after him, but his mind was still preoccupied with the conversation from earlier and the way Slade was speaking to Stewie. He decided that he needed to inquire about it.

“So...you and Slade are pretty friendly now, huh?”

The infant looked up from a glass he was inspecting.

“Beg your pardon?”

The canine shrugged as he pressed on the matter.

“I mean, it just struck me as odd the way he was talking to you. Cutie? Babe? That didn’t bother you at all?”

Stewie frowned slightly as he set the glass down and took a few steps closer to Brian.

“I mean, that’s just Slade, though, right? You know as well as I do that he’s not the most tactful individual out there, but he knows what he’s doing. And, yeah, I mean...we’ve been meeting up for the past several weeks. I assume that would make him feel more comfortable around me. Though, maybe he is getting a little too friendly…”

The boy’s voice trailed off as he appeared to get lost in his own thoughts for a second before simply shrugging.

“What’s it to you, anyway? So maybe he can be a little flirty. We’re only pretending to be a couple. Remember?”

The dog’s body went rigid. He could feel himself getting angry.

He wasn’t entirely sure why, though…

“Of course I remember! The point should be what he thinks, though, right!? As far as he knows, you’re already in a perfectly happy relationship with someone you care about deeply. To infringe upon that in even the slightest way automatically makes him the lowest of the low!”

The child took a step back. He didn’t look too worried, though. If anything, the boy looked mildly annoyed as he rolled his eyes at the canine.

“As if you’ve never done anything like that before…”

The rage that had been slowly building up inside of the canine began to subside as the sting of Stewie’s words hit him.

_Whoa. Low blow…_

Stewie seemed to realize that he’d hit a nerve, so he backpedaled.

“Look… If it really bothers you that much… Which I’m really trying hard to figure out why it would, but if it genuinely does…”

The baby sighed.

“I’ll talk to him about it. Ok? Lay down some boundaries? Right after this show. Does that make you feel better?”

What was he doing? Brian couldn’t make heads or tails of his rapidly fluctuating emotions, right now, but he also couldn’t deny that having Stewie offer to lay some ground rules with Slade actually did help alleviate some of the negative ones he was feeling.

“Ladies and gentlemen! We’d like to thank you all for coming out tonight…”

A voice began announcing to the crowd, indicating that it was practically time for the pair to head out. The dog shook his head, trying to pull himself together.

_Now, isn’t the time for this. I’ve got to focus!_

He looked at Stewie and smiled.

“We’ll...talk about this later. I don’t want to ruin this moment for us.”

Stewie seemed a bit hesitant to just drop the matter, but he too eventually smiled before going back to grab the cart.

“I’ve got everything all set up. Houdini is all good to go, and I’ve planted the pad in the perfect location. Just leave our big surprise trick to me. Everything is under control, darling.”

The canine nodded his head.

“Yeah. I know.”

“Please give a big round of applause for The Amazing Brian and The Fabulous Stella!”

That was their cue. The pair turned to head out onto the stage, Brian leading the way. As soon as they made their appearance, the entire audience roared to life, cheering wildly along with occasional shouts directed at either one or both of the pair.

“I love you, Stella!”

“Oh my god, he looks even more charming in person!”

“I’ve been dying to see these two! This is going to be great!’

Brian and Stewie took their places and waited for the crowd to die down before getting started. As always, it was Stewie who kicked things off as he smiled and waved at everyone in the audience.

“Good evening, everyone! My word, we got quite the turn out tonight! Let me just say that it is an honor to have you all join us for this final show of our big debut tour.”

He motioned towards Brian.

“When me and my partner first hit the road together to bring our particular brand of magic to the masses, we honestly weren’t too sure what to expect, but I have to say that, as I’m standing here looking out into this massive crowd of enthusiastic fans, what we have here has surpassed even my highest expectations. So, we’d just like to thank you for making all of this possible!”

The audience cheered once more, so Stewie was forced to wait a little longer before finishing his big opening speech.

“With that said, I won’t waste any more of your time. Who’s ready to see some magic!?”

More cheering from the crowd, this time followed by one enthusiastic fan’s cry of “Bring out Houdini!” as the room fell back into silence. Everyone laughed, Brian and Stewie included as Stewie addressed the demand.

“Houdini will be out soon enough, I assure you all, but me and The Amazing Brian were thinking of starting things off a little differently tonight.”

Brian stepped forward and began speaking.

“That’s right. You see, as a way of making this show especially special for all of you, Stella and I have decided that tonight is the perfect opportunity to unveil a brand new trick that we’ve yet to perform. Now, some of you may see this and think it’s nothing all that special. You’ve probably seen this particular trick done a few times already, but we doubt you’ve ever seen it done like this.”

The audience began muttering amongst themselves, interest obviously piqued by what had just been said. Brian wasted no time, though, with a flick of his wrist he materialized a wand from seemingly out of thin air as he turned towards Stewie.

“Ready, Stella?”

The baby gave his partner a big smile as he nodded enthusiastically.

“Take me higher, baby!”

The crowd stopped talking and turned their complete attention to the pair on stage.

Brian’s expression grew serious as if he was concentrating very hard. He held out his wand and aimed it at Stewie as he took a deep breath.

“Ok… Here we go…”

The dog began breathing heavily and soon his wand began to vibrate as he slowly started to lift it up. It was at that moment that Stewie reached over and pressed a button that had been concealed on a bracelet he was wearing, activating the levitation pad that had been tucked away beneath the stage right in the very spot he was currently standing. He began gliding his finger up along the the bracelet, and soon, his body began to lift off the ground slowly.

Upon realizing what was happening, the audience all seemed to react with utterances of surprise. Stella was levitating! Just like that!

One foot off the ground.

Two.

Three.

Higher and higher.

Higher.

Higher

Too high!

The audience began gasping, everyone trying desperately to figure out just how high Brian would dare to raise his lovely assistant!

Up and up Stewie went, dangerously high, not stopping until he was practically touching the ceiling of the immense theater. The beautiful starlet did a showy twirl in the air, showing that he had complete freedom of movement. He eventually came to rest on his side, propping himself up on an elbow as he used his free hand to wave at the awestruck crowd down below.

They were going nuts. The cries and the cheers practically shook the walls of the theater as Stewie began to be lowered down little by little. It wasn’t until the boy was hovering next to Brian once more that the dog finally lowered his wand, flicking his wrist as it disappeared from view. The canine simply stood there for a moment, basking in the intense enthusiasm of the audience. It was almost too much. He tugged at his collar a bit before holding a presenting arm out towards his partner.

“Sooooo…”

He chuckled nervously.

“That’s the trick.”

The crowd went nuts once again as Stewie continued to hover in the air. The pair glanced over at each other, both of their hearts swelling with pride. There was no way they were topping this tonight, but that was ok because it had been made abundantly clear that they had just made their permanent mark on the world of magic. Brian and Stella were here to stay.

* * *

After the show, Slade had arranged a huge afterparty for the tour. Certain members of the audience were allowed to attend, but along with them were plenty of major players in the magic and entertainment industries, as well, plenty of big names.

And they were all clamouring to talk to Stewie and Brian about their big levitation showstopper.

The pair honestly weren’t even sure how to handle all the attention. In just a few short minutes, they had truly become the talk of the town. It was flattering. It was empowering. It was also a little terrifying. They had talked to so many people tonight, how would they ever keep up with it all? Good thing they had Slade, who was also losing his shit over the levitation he had seen. The man was currently sitting at a table next to the pair. He was on maybe his sixth drink of the night? Brian and Stewie had lost count, but that didn’t even include possible pre-party drinking he might have done. The man was obviously wasted and still ranting and raving about what he’d seen that night, his mind having been significantly blown by it.

“I just can’t figure it out! I’m telling you two, I’ve seen it all, man! I’ve seen it aaaaaaaall! And I still can’t figure out how you motherfuckers did it!”

He laughed heartily and took another swig of his drink before slamming his glass down. His eyes landed on Stella.

“Tell me, sweetheart, was it you or the dog who came up with that one? At least give me that much!”

Stewie giggled as Brian’s lips turned downward upon hearing the word _sweetheart_.

“I’m sorry, Slade, but that secret stays between me and Brian.”

The man groaned and gulped down the rest of his drink before muttering under his breath.

“Little tease…”

He stood up then, wobbling a bit before gaining his balance.

“I’m gonna go get another drink. You two should try and catch up, maybe if I can get you drunk enough I’ll be able to get what I want from you.”

He snickered and then retreated to the bar.

Stewie laughed awkwardly. He had never seen Slade like this, and he really wasn’t too sure what to make of it. The boy turned to look at Brian who was still frowning. The child could tell that he wasn’t too pleased with Slade’s behavior, and well...this time it was completely understandable. The baby reached over and placed a hand on the canine’s leg.

“I’ll...I’ll go talk to him. Ok? I said I would.”

The tension in the dog’s body released somewhat as he nodded his head.

“Thank you.”

Stewie gave the dog one last smile, leaning up to kiss his cheek before getting up from his seat and running after Slade. The man was already returning with another drink, but he stopped once he saw Stewie approaching him.

“Stella! You decide to try and catch up with me after all!?”

The baby shook his head.

“Uhhhh, no...that’s not it. Look. We need to talk, Slade, but it’s kind of something I’d like to talk about in private. Is there anywhere we can go to be alone for a minute?”

The man’s lips stretched from ear to ear as he responded.

“Sure! My car is around back. Nobody will bother us there, honey.”

The man began heading off in the opposite direction, and Stewie hurried after him. They made their way through the crowd of people, Stewie having to turn down conversations from fans and interested entertainment moguls alike. Right now, nipping this thing with Slade in the bud was what was important.

For Brian.

Even if he did find the dog’s behavior awfully suspicious. He was going to have to have a serious talk with his partner at some point. Something else was very obviously going on there.

Before long, Slade and Stewie had made it out of the building. The man waved Stewie over towards his vehicle.

“Over here. We’ll have complete privacy.”

Stewie followed him to the car, thanking the man as the door was opened for him. The infant climbed in the passenger seat and waited for his agent to join him. Slade practically fell into the driver’s seat before straightening himself out and slicking his hair back, trying to compose himself in manner that Stewie assumed was meant to be more professional. After that, the man looked over at the boy and smirked.

“So, you wanted to speak with me in private, huh?”

Stewie nodded his head.

“Yes. Look, Slade…”

He shifted his body so that he was better facing the man.

“Something has come up between me and Brian recently, and well, it’s causing problems…”

Slade shifted his position, too, leaning in towards the baby to the point that Stewie could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Uh oh. Trouble in paradise, sweetie?”

Stewie leaned back some, starting to pick up on a strange tension in the car.

“Uhhhhhhh...that’s one way to put it, I guess…”

The man shook his head and leaned in closer, obviously not taking the hint that he was making his client uncomfortable.

“You know, a part of me was worried that this would happen. I’ve seen life on the road tear apart some of the strongest power couples you can imagine. I’m sorry it happened to you, too, baby.”

Stewie scoffed at the notion and backed away even more.

“I...think you have the wrong idea, _sir_.”

The man didn’t seem to listen as he reached over and placed a hand on Stewie’s thigh, gradually slipping it up his skirt.

“Just know that if you ever need to talk about anything or just need a shoulder to cry on…”

His fingers grazed the hem at the bottom of Stewie’s underwear, causing the child to jump in surprise.

“Slade…”

“I’m here for you, baby.”

And without warning the man was practically lunging himself at the boy, attaching his lips to Stewie’s desperately and causing the child’s eyes to shoot open in horror.

“Mmmm!”

The baby recoiled back, shoving the man off of him with all the strength he could muster before fumbling with the door and hopping out of the vehicle. He made a beeline for the door he had exited from, ignoring Slade’s cries as he hurried as fast as he could back to Brian.

“Stella! Wait! Come back! I’m sorry! I just misunderstood!”

_Fuck you. Fuck you! FUCK YOU! You had no right!_

He could hear footsteps behind him as he re-entered the building and began pushing his way through the crowd back to where he had left Brian sitting at their table. He felt an immediate sense of relief when the dog came into view. His partner was currently talking to someone that honestly looked a little familiar, but he couldn’t focus on that right now.

“Brian! Brian!”

The dog quickly turned away from the man he was talking to, eyes widening in concern upon hearing his friend crying out to him.

“Stew-”

The dog stopped himself just in time.

“Uh, I mean… Stella!? What’s wrong?”

The child climbed back into this his seat and wrapped his arms tightly around his friend for support.

“He kissed me, Brian! That bastard kissed me!”

“It was a misunderstanding!”

Brian looked up to see Slade standing a few feet away from them, eyes wild and looking quite disheveled as he began fumbling around to explain himself.

“S-She said she wanted to talk in private a-and started talking about problems you...you guys were having. I thought… I thought you might be through!”

The canine saw red and pushed Stewie away gently as he stood up from his chair and began stomping towards the man.

“You. Kissed! HER!”

By this point, everyone at the party had stopped what they were doing and were instead focusing all of their attention on the drama going on. Slade raised his hands out in protest.

“I’m sorry! Ok! Like I said, it was a misunderstand-”

The man didn’t get to finish his sentence as, in the next instant, Brian had reeled his fist back and punched the offender straight in the gut. Slade doubled over in pain, falling to his knees as he gripped his abdomen protectively. The dog grabbed the man by the shirt collar and stared him down furiously.

“I fucking knew there was something up with you! You’ve had your eyes on her from the beginning, haven’t you Slade!? Is this what this whole thing has been about for you!? Trying to steal my goddamn girlfriend!? The love of my life!? I love her, man! And you know what!? She loves me! You never had a chance, so I hope you’re happy with all the time you’ve wasted!”

He balled his fist up again and punched the man right in the face, possibly breaking his nose. He was too mad to notice, too mad to care.

“Fuck you! It’s almost comical really! You don’t even really know her! Not like I do! Nobody does, and you can’t take that away!”

He shoved the man down onto his back. Slade writhed around on the ground in pain for a few moments before finally going still as he fell unconscious.

The dog wanted to keep going, wanted to beat Slade into a bloody pulp, but he held himself back. If he went any further, things would only end much worse than they had to. He took a deep breath, trying to desperately to control his erratic breathing as he looked at the blood on his fist, admiring it somewhat. It took several moments before he was able to finally bring his emotions completely under control. With one last deep breath, he turned around and looked back at Stewie who was still sitting in his chair, mouth agape. Upon seeing the boy and going back over the swirl of emotions he had just felt, Brian was consumed by a mixture of a need to protect his young friend as well as a possessiveness that was in no way unfamiliar.

Only now he felt like he was finally beginning to understand the root cause of it.

“Oh…”

The rage faded away as did the crowd of people all conversing around him as Brian focused in on just himself and Stewie. His legs began to shake as he took in the sight of the beautiful boy, possibly appreciating it fully for the first time since this had all began. He wanted to run to Stewie, to hold him close and secure and to tell the child that he was HIS. Brian felt his mouth going dry, thoughts leading to other thoughts as if a dam had finally broken in his brain and was now allowing all these repressed feelings and desires to flow freely.

He couldn’t take it.

He took a step back, feeling terrified of the infant who was beginning to look at him with concern.

“Br-Brian?”

His heart jumped into his throat.

He had to get out of here.

“I...I’ll be on the bus.”

And without another word, the canine turned and rushed away from the party, leaving Stewie concerned, confused, and alone.

* * *

Sometime later that night, Stewie had finally worked up the nerve to join Brian back on their tour bus. For the longest time, he had just remained sitting there at the party, trying his best to ignore everyone there who kept trying to get him to talk. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to breech conversation with Brian after what had just happened. The way Brian had reacted. The words he had spoken.

He didn’t want to get his hopes up too much, but...they had to mean something, right?

_There was truth in those words. I felt it. I’m not crazy._

The boy steeled himself and stepped through the door, calling out to his friend.

“Bry, you still in here?”

It became quickly apparent that he was. The bus was completely dark aside from the light of the television screen, and that light was illuminating the dog who was currently still in his magician getup while lying down on his back on the couch. The canine sat up upon hearing his nickname, though. He stared at the boy awkwardly.

“Oh… Hey… Wasn’t sure if you were coming back here tonight.”

The infant shut the door behind him and began walking towards the animal.

“And where exactly would I have gone?”

The canine shrugged.

“I...don’t know.”

He sighed.

“I just figured that, if you were coming back, you would have gotten here sooner. I just started a movie.”

Stewie took a seat on the couch next to the dog.

“What movie?”

Brian set the remote down and sighed.

“That… That doesn’t matter. Listen...Stewie...we need to talk.”

The baby nodded his head and turned his whole body towards the canine.

“I concur.”

Silence fell over the room then as the boy and dog waited to see if the other would be so kind as to start. It ended up being Stewie who was able to drum up the courage to speak again first.

“Go ahead, Brian. Talk. Tell me, why did you run away after beating up Slade?”

The dog’s mouth opened to speak, but he hesitated, wanting to choose his words carefully. God, he had no idea how to do this… Stewie was patient with him, though, allowing him to take the time he needed to sort through his thoughts. After a small eternity, the canine locked eyes with his friend and spoke plainly.

“I don’t think this was every really just an act...for either of us.”

Stewie jumped at the accusation.

“H-How...How so, Brian?”

The dog laughed nervously, visibly shaking as he continued.

“The whole...being an item thing. Like, yeah, I know we were just pretending, but I’m starting to think that both of us were just acting out something we actually wanted.”

A short pause before he continued.

“Granted, I’m not entirely sure how much I even realized it was something I wanted, but looking back, it’s definitely been there just beneath the surface, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it because this just complicates so much, and I care about you a ton and I don’t want to hurt you or our friendship and you’re so young but I know that it doesn’t really matter and I know that you want me too. I see it all the time, and now, I’m wondering if I should just go for it if for no other reason than to see how happy I can be with you, but I’m scared and losing my mind over everything involving you an-”

The rant came to an abrupt end as Stewie suddenly pounced on his friend, touching their lips together and instigating a kiss that he could feel they had both been deeply desiring for so long. It became heated fast as Brian grunted and reached a paw up to grip Stewie’s leg while his free arm went and coiled around the infant’s waist pulling their bodies impossibly close together.

Stewie hummed happily, his lips molding themselves against the canine’s for a moment longer before he suddenly pulled away.

“You don’t need to say anymore. I get it, and I’ve had my suspicions for a while but I just needed to hear you confirm them.”

He laughed, moisture forming in his eyes, glistening in the light of the television as he reached two hands up to caress either side of Brian’s snout.

“I love you, you silly mutt. I love you so much, and it’s finally ok because I know now for sure that you love me too in the exact same way I love you. You have no idea how much of a relief this is, Brian.”

He sniffled and then collapsed into the animal as he hugged him tightly.

“I’ve needed this for so long…”

Brian hugged the baby back, caressing the dress-covered back in an attempt to sooth the young one

“I know. I know. I’m sorry.”

He gave the infant a tight squeeze and then stood up from the couch with Stewie still in his arms.

“I want to make it up to you.”

The child giggled and looked up at his partner.

“Yeah? What did you have in mind, love?”

The canine didn’t say anything more as he turned and began walking to the bedroom, carrying Stewie all the way up to the bed bridal style. He set the kid down on the mattress and leaned over so that he was hovering over the small body.

“We never did actually share this bed. Who knows if we’ll get another chance after tonight.”

The baby giggled again, blushing furiously but counting himself lucky that Brian most likely couldn’t see any hint of red in the dark.

“Brian...are you saying you want to…”

A finger was placed over the boy’s lips and the dog simply nodded his head.

“I’m saying we both want to, so why put it off any longer?”

He leaned down further and captured the baby’s lips with his own as one of his paws came to rest on one of those little legs before slowly sliding its way upward.

Stewie gasped into the kiss, gasped at that touch, at where Brian’s paw was venturing. This was somehow simultaneously happening way too fast but also not quite fast enough. He reached an arm up and grabbed Brian’s top hat before casually throwing it down the hall. Little hands then went for the buttons on the dog’s shirt, making quick work of them so that he could freely run tiny fingers through the thick, white fur that covered his lover’s chest. He moaned but then pushed the dog away so that he could speak.

“Darling, before we go any further, I just need to ask you one thing.”

The dog tilted his head at the statement.

“Uhhh, ok. What is it?”

The boy chuckled and glanced down the hallway he had just tossed Brian’s hat.

“Did you check on Houdini when you came in?”

Brian snorted at the random inquiry, laughing lightly as he nodded his head.

“I did. Little guy is sound asleep. Is that really all you wanted, though?”

The boy smirked then and reached up to grip his partner by the collar before pulling him back down so that he was lying on top.

“That’s my guy, checking in on our baby for me.”

He snickered.

“Knowing how much you care is really kind of a pretty big turn on, you know.”

He leaned up and nipped at the dog’s ear before whispering into it.

“I want you to fuck me. So. Hard. Brian.”

The canine shivered.

“J-Just like that, huh?”

Another menacing sounding chuckle from Stewie.

“Just. Like. That.”

He shoved the dog off him then and pointed towards one of the drawers that were beside the bed.

“There’s lube in that bottom drawer. Gone on, boy. Fetch that bloody bottle for me.”

Brian shivered once more, feeling himself growing more and more erect by the second as Stewie’s attitude only served to increase his already out of control arousal. He crawled his way over to where Stewie had pointed and leaned over the edge of the bed so that he could reach the drawer.

As Brian was digging around in the drawer, Stewie was working on removing his white panties, first kicking off his white pumps before reaching up under his dress and quickly sliding the article of clothing down his legs before kicking that off to the side, too. He began sucking on one of his digits lewdly, making all sorts erotic noises for Brian, causing the dog to begin searching more frantically.

“Come on! Where the hell is it!?”

At last, he finally felt something that was appropriately bottle shaped. He grabbed it and brought it up to where he could see what it was.

“Bingo!”

He lept back over to the boy and popped the cap open before squirting a generous amount of the liquid into his paw.

“Mmmmm. Bingo. Fido. Rover! I’ll call you whatever you want just get that magic wand of yours inside me!”

The dog burst into laughter as he began lubing up his cock.

“Magic wand? Really? That’s so...corny.”

Stewie reached down to begin running his slicked up finger against his opening.

“As if you or I could really give a shit about a couple of corny lines right now.”

He reached over and grabbed the bottle before hiking his dress up and applying the lubricant to the finger he had sucked.

Brian watched him with hungry eyes, continuing to stroke his cock as he watched boy insert a finger into himself.

“Mmmmmm. There we go. Just like that. I need you ready for this.”

Stewie didn’t finger himself for much longer before spreading his legs wide and motioning for Brian to come closer.

“I’m ready. God, I’m so ready for you, Bry!”

The canine followed his cue and took his position between Stewie’s legs, gripping himself tightly as he took aim. His tip touched against its target and took a second to smear some lube and precum there before pushing forward.

It was tight, incredibly tight, but really, there wasn’t as much resistance as he had been expecting. He found that he was able to glide in all the way up to his knot pretty easily, all the while Stewie was moaning loudly, his pitch going higher and higher the further he went in.

The child reached up and gripped Brian’s wrists tightly, nails digging deep into flesh as he fought to control erratic breaths.

“G-Good lord! You’re…”

He chuckled.

“You just went right on in there.”

He laughed once more before beginning to move his hips against the animal inside him.

“Don’t go getting shy on me now, though, honey. Move for Stewie. He neeeeeeeeds you to move so fucking badly…”

Stewie was incredible, an absolute wonder. Brian was losing his goddamn mind in the eroticism of it all. Who knew it could have ever been this good?

“Holy fuck, Stewie! You gotta calm down! I’m not looking to explode just yet!”

The baby didn’t cease his movements one bit.

“Go ahead and cum then, if you’re so weak! Do I drive you crazy, Brian? Do I make you just want to lose control and come apart at the seams when we’re together?”

Realizing that Stewie was definitely not going to go easy on him, Brian began moving in and out of the baby rapidly and desperately, hoping that he could hold on at least long enough to pound this little asshole into submission.

“You’re such a jerk, you know that? I’m trying to make this good for you!”

The baby took a hold of Brian’s collar again and pulled him down into a deep, fierce kiss. Their mouths opened, and their tongues began dancing together as the animal continued to fuck relentlessly in and out of his young lover. When the kiss finally did end, Stewie followed it up with a kiss to Brian’s forehead before he forced the dog to lock eyes with him as he spoke seriously.

“This won’t be the last time. I won’t allow it, so all I need from you right now is to know that this is real and that you’re mine, that I’m yours. I want to make you cum so badly, Brian. I want you to make me yours in the most official way possible.”

He began petting the fur on top of the canine’s head as he continued.

“It’s ok. You don’t need to prove anything to me, right now. If you can’t hold on anymore, that’s fine. Let it go. Please. I want to see what I can do to you.”

Despite the infant’s reassuring words, Brian did try his best to keep holding on. Unfortunately, it was a futile effort. Another moan from Stewie penetrated his ears, and that was just all he could take.

“Ahhhh! Stewie! I can’t!”

The child leaned up and nipped at the dog’s ear again.

“You will. Show me! Cum for me, bitch!”

And he did.

For the first time...but definitely not the last.

* * *

The two lovers spent the entirety of the following morning asleep and cuddling in bed. There were clothes scattered all about the room, indicating that the pair had ended up discarding all of their clothing at some point during their incredible night of passion. Stewie had somehow managed to get a few rounds out of Brian last night before the baby and dog had collapsed into each other’s arms and given themselves up to peaceful slumber, and they ended up remaining like that well into the following day.

It wasn’t until Brian’s phone began ringing that either of them finally returned to consciousness. Brian was the first to open his eyes, recognizing the familiar ringtone even through his intense sleep. He reached in the direction of the sound but quickly found that he couldn’t move all that well with Stewie still lying on top of him. The canine groaned and attempted to shift his body out from under the tyke’s without disturbing his sleeping beauty.

It didn’t work.

Stewie stirred, his eyes fluttering open as he looked at his boyfriend dreamily.

“Hey there, you.”

Brian chuckled and rolled over as slowly as he could, bringing Stewie down to lie on his back.

“Hey.”

He took a moment to look over the tired and sated boy before crawling off to the side to retrieve his phone from on top of the dresser. He pressed the screen to accept the call and then brought the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

Stewie could be heard off to the side.

“Hello yourself, handsome.”

The infant snickered a bit before sighing happily.

Brian rolled his eyes but the grin never left his face.

_Jeez. Someone is delirious this morning._

“Hello? Brian? Is that you?”

The canine was taken off guard. Wait. Who even was this? That voice sounded familiar, but…

“Listen, I don’t know if you remember talking to me at all before all the unpleasantness that went on last night, but it’s me, Charles Tucker. I told you about how I pretended to be someone else at one of your shows. I believe the name I used was Tommy? Ringing a bell?”

The dog snapped his fingers as the memories started coming back to him.

“Oh, yeah! I remember you!”

Stewie responded again.

“I’m going to remember last night forever…”

Brian chose to ignore the adorable boy for now as he focused his attention on the phone call at hand.

“I believe I had just asked why you pretended to be someone else at one of our shows when Stella came running up to me.”

The man responded without hesitation.

“An unfortunate bit of timing, to be sure, but I understand that you had...business to handle. I was worried that I had missed my opportunity to speak with you, but luckily, I was able to get your number from someone else you had spoken with earlier in the evening.”

A sigh could be heard coming over the phone before Charles continued.

“Look, Brian, in the interest of not taking you away from other more important matters for too long, I’m going to cut right to the chase here. I’m a very prominent face when it comes to handling business dealings in the magic community, and I have to say that I adore what you and Stella bring to the table. It’s fresh but also classic in a way. You two put on a fantastic show, but now, I also know that you two have what it takes to be real standout illusionists and I want to give you an opportunity to flourish and reach your full potential. I have to imagine that things are done with you and Slade, so if you have any interest at all in continuing in this field, you’re probably going to need a new agent. I want to represent you and Stella, but on top of that, I want to give you something other performers would kill for. I’m willing to give you a permanent headlining gig right here in Las Vegas under the condition that you allow me to take over where Slade left off. I expect you’ll want to think things over, talk to the lady a bit perhaps, but that is the offer I’m making and I expect to hear either a yes or a no within a reasonable timeframe. Will you do that for me?”

The canine was stunned, gripping his phone tightly as he took all this information in. He had just woken up. It was almost too much to process, but he didn’t want to keep Charles hanging on the line for too long. So, he simply nodded his head and responded as confidently as he could.

“You will definitely be hearing back from us soon, Mr. Tucker.”

The man laughed.

“The name is Charles, Brian, and I look forward to hearing from you again soon. Now, go take care of whatever you need to. I’m available anytime. You have my number.”

And just like that, the man hung up, leaving the dog clutching a silent phone.

_What...the hell just happened…?_

It took Brian a moment to come back to his senses. He looked back over at Stewie and noticed that the child had fallen back asleep. The animal shook his head.

_Great… Now I have to wait for him to wake up before I can say anything about this._

The dog sighed and then moved to rejoin Stewie on the bed. He went to set his phone down, too, but stopped as he thought of one thing he could definitely do, right now. The canine smirked and cut his phone back on.

_Might as well get this over with._

He pulled up Slade’s number and typed up a simple but blunt text.

**You’re fired.**

After hitting send, Brian immediately deleted the man’s number from his phone before finally setting the item down and cuddling his body back up against the love of his life who he was going to have plenty to talk with about once they were both well-rested and completely awake.

Sleep retook him soon after.


End file.
